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5 months ago
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neonraveSo...yeah, this month has been absolutely horrid. So much for Men's Mental Health Awareness Month.
I mean yes, I absolutely respect the hell out of the month and think it is very beneficial for many people. However I myself have had zero control over my mental health. I feel like high levels of anxiety and stress are the norm. When I do find something fun it's usually the same old thing that doesn't bring joy and I am sick of it. I just want to be free-spirited and enjoy myself.
To those who are close to me yes, I thank you very much for checking in on me, for spending time with me and for making my life enjoyable. I just could do without the conflict, the yelling, the anger, the stress, all of it.
I have had some issues going on with myself that have impacted my being but I won't go into detail. Just health things that I am trying to take care of.
The fact that every decision I try to make makes me feel like it is a wrong one is very discouraging. Wanna try something new? nope, that backfired. Wanna play a new game? nope, it causes anger. Wanna change your sleep time around? nope, that doesn't work for everyone.
I'm sick of all this and I just really want to recover somehow. I really don't know what to do anymore and I guess going back to my fitness routine is the only positive answer. I really need to keep it up at the gym AND the right way. Not half-assing it like I have been. that won't get me anywhere and I'm really tired of this happening again and again and again. It's about time I just do things for me for once. I can't just cater to others because it is not helping my health at all.
I mean yes, I absolutely respect the hell out of the month and think it is very beneficial for many people. However I myself have had zero control over my mental health. I feel like high levels of anxiety and stress are the norm. When I do find something fun it's usually the same old thing that doesn't bring joy and I am sick of it. I just want to be free-spirited and enjoy myself.
To those who are close to me yes, I thank you very much for checking in on me, for spending time with me and for making my life enjoyable. I just could do without the conflict, the yelling, the anger, the stress, all of it.
I have had some issues going on with myself that have impacted my being but I won't go into detail. Just health things that I am trying to take care of.
The fact that every decision I try to make makes me feel like it is a wrong one is very discouraging. Wanna try something new? nope, that backfired. Wanna play a new game? nope, it causes anger. Wanna change your sleep time around? nope, that doesn't work for everyone.
I'm sick of all this and I just really want to recover somehow. I really don't know what to do anymore and I guess going back to my fitness routine is the only positive answer. I really need to keep it up at the gym AND the right way. Not half-assing it like I have been. that won't get me anywhere and I'm really tired of this happening again and again and again. It's about time I just do things for me for once. I can't just cater to others because it is not helping my health at all.
