https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11156497/

reference to this ^

I've been contemplating discussing this for a while but I'm tired of holding it in out of fear that I might hurt the other person after the absolute lack of consideration they gave when violating my trust and trauma.

So some fucking asshole took advantage of my vulnerability and completely destroyed my progress by sexualizing my childhood trauma. I had complete faith in this person after years of friendship and opened up about an extreme traumatic event that they absolutely sexualized. They've played games with me and my underage sister, they've known me for years, and yet the betrayal was so bad that it had ruined my trust in other people and put me in such a horrible mental state of re-living trauma and made me feel extremely unsafe and objectified. I'm doing better than the initial fallout, but I've locked back up and am filled with rage and anger at that type of audacity and selfishness. I'm trying to not let it affect my creativity but it's really fucking hard.

I just don't want to lock up and become absent again. I don't want them winning by ruining me and my newfound passion. I'm angry and I'm frustrated and I'm extremely hurt. I'm not interested in doing a callout, but I'm never talking to this person ever again. All I have is betrayal and rage where there was once love and compassion and nothing can fix that damaged relationship now.

I'm trying to be transparent so I can find more support and rebuild trust in others again. I really need kindness and compassion and positive reinforcement right now.