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I'm taking a huge risk with this.
5 months ago
So... it's been a few months, hasn't it?
Back in January, you'll probably remember that I announced I was going to be sort of stepping away from the fetish community for a while to pursue another project. Welp, I stuck to my word and it's now June. But... I barely have any artwork or community to show for my efforts toward bringing this so-called "other project" to life. So what exactly is going on?
Well... in all honesty, this is the main reason why I wanted to start focusing on this new project in the first place. I'm too slow at art, and if I'm being honest, I barely feel any passion toward it at all anymore. Over the years, art has become more of an obligation that I feel I need to commit to regularly to maintain relevance rather than seeing it as a hobby, and it's resulted in me experiencing severe burnout that's lasted several years. When I draw, I doubt every pen stroke I make. I'm so used to people demanding absolute perfection that I can't settle for anything less, and it's brought my productivity to a screeching halt. My main goal with pursuing this new project was not only to reignite that spark; to rediscover that passion for art that I once had, but to also give myself the opportunity to work on something that didn't need to be perfect to make people happy. But it's come at a cost. It's difficult trying to reach any kind of audience now, and the very few from this community who seem even remotely invested haven't provided much input for me to work with. Basically... I'm starting over from nothing, and I'm completely on my own in the art scene for the first time in just about ten years.
My primary reasoning for stepping away from the fetish scene to begin with was because, to put it simply... I just can't keep up anymore. There are tons of fatfur artists out there who are able to put out art pieces miles better than mine at quadruple the speed, and it's caused me so much stress over the last few years that I couldn't think of any other option to help myself than to just turn away from it all for a while. My output is one of the slowest out of anyone in this community, and the quality of my work is not at all reflective of the time it took to get it completed. I'm just... tired of disappointing people.
This new project I'm working on... I have faith in it. I really do believe that it can succeed, much more than any other work I've put out in the past. But my art struggles of course followed me here, making this whole idea a lot riskier to execute than I originally had in mind. Starting over from nothing is one thing, but starting over from nothing with constant self-doubt around every turn... it makes me question whether or not this is really the right decision.
It's my dream to have this webcomic idea become a reality. But so far, its development has been nothing but complication after complication. Concept art taking months to get out, work taking up all my free time to the point where I can't even finish a full script for one episode, an almost complete lack of input from what little of a community I have surrounding it... is it really all worth leaving behind everything I've already spent so much time building up here? And on top of it all... will this really help me conquer the personal problems that have held my art and output back for years?
The answer is... I don't know. In less than a month, I will have been part of the fatfur community for an entire decade. And to be honest, I just don't see my condition changing if I continue to regularly participate in what I perceive to be a never-ending rat race. Maybe it's better if I just do my own thing. All of this really is just one giant risk I've decided to undertake... and is it really worth it?
I... I suppose only time will tell.
Back in January, you'll probably remember that I announced I was going to be sort of stepping away from the fetish community for a while to pursue another project. Welp, I stuck to my word and it's now June. But... I barely have any artwork or community to show for my efforts toward bringing this so-called "other project" to life. So what exactly is going on?
Well... in all honesty, this is the main reason why I wanted to start focusing on this new project in the first place. I'm too slow at art, and if I'm being honest, I barely feel any passion toward it at all anymore. Over the years, art has become more of an obligation that I feel I need to commit to regularly to maintain relevance rather than seeing it as a hobby, and it's resulted in me experiencing severe burnout that's lasted several years. When I draw, I doubt every pen stroke I make. I'm so used to people demanding absolute perfection that I can't settle for anything less, and it's brought my productivity to a screeching halt. My main goal with pursuing this new project was not only to reignite that spark; to rediscover that passion for art that I once had, but to also give myself the opportunity to work on something that didn't need to be perfect to make people happy. But it's come at a cost. It's difficult trying to reach any kind of audience now, and the very few from this community who seem even remotely invested haven't provided much input for me to work with. Basically... I'm starting over from nothing, and I'm completely on my own in the art scene for the first time in just about ten years.
My primary reasoning for stepping away from the fetish scene to begin with was because, to put it simply... I just can't keep up anymore. There are tons of fatfur artists out there who are able to put out art pieces miles better than mine at quadruple the speed, and it's caused me so much stress over the last few years that I couldn't think of any other option to help myself than to just turn away from it all for a while. My output is one of the slowest out of anyone in this community, and the quality of my work is not at all reflective of the time it took to get it completed. I'm just... tired of disappointing people.
This new project I'm working on... I have faith in it. I really do believe that it can succeed, much more than any other work I've put out in the past. But my art struggles of course followed me here, making this whole idea a lot riskier to execute than I originally had in mind. Starting over from nothing is one thing, but starting over from nothing with constant self-doubt around every turn... it makes me question whether or not this is really the right decision.
It's my dream to have this webcomic idea become a reality. But so far, its development has been nothing but complication after complication. Concept art taking months to get out, work taking up all my free time to the point where I can't even finish a full script for one episode, an almost complete lack of input from what little of a community I have surrounding it... is it really all worth leaving behind everything I've already spent so much time building up here? And on top of it all... will this really help me conquer the personal problems that have held my art and output back for years?
The answer is... I don't know. In less than a month, I will have been part of the fatfur community for an entire decade. And to be honest, I just don't see my condition changing if I continue to regularly participate in what I perceive to be a never-ending rat race. Maybe it's better if I just do my own thing. All of this really is just one giant risk I've decided to undertake... and is it really worth it?
I... I suppose only time will tell.
We all fall behind sometimes, that's normal.
But beating yourself up over it doesn't help.
Whatever this other project is, you have my faith too
Take care of yourself, and do good work <3
Because constantly worrying about your art and your not good enough to the point is the only thing you think of is a another symptom of artists block, your so entangled in thinking about others art that you can’t think of your art
So take a rest for as long as you need them come back and hit it out of the park!