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what happened to me...
5 months ago
General
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61387515/
you may remember me from these accounts 
vomitshit 
1R1SKA they are no longer relevant
I don't even know where to begin. Debt, depression, war, flashbacks from the past. All of this led to months of isolation. Ha-ha, the business failed... leaving me with a horrific amount of debt. I lost my love for my creative work. I wanted to escape the nightmarish memories, nothing helped except maybe myself. Forgive me for worrying you. I was convinced I was unwanted, that my life was doomed. I tried to kill myself with gas, and not only that... twice I was clinically dead. After surviving, I was devastated, did nothing, wanted nothing, and the debts grew and continue to grow. Surprisingly, in isolation… I found a kind of peace. I fed birds and animals, only talking to them. I told them how hard it was to live after being repeatedly raped… by my own grandfather. For twenty years I've lived with this nightmare; it doesn't even leave me in my sleep. I confessed this to others and to myself, and people turned away. It broke me. I lost faith in kindness, I lost faith in people. It turns out, several people missed me, cried… suffered. Forgive me. I probably needed more feedback; I didn't know that… my survival mattered to anyone. Now I know. I want to live. I'm trying to work and pay off my debts. I've realized how I want to create – for myself, not to please others. I've realized that I'm drawn to creativity. I no longer want to demand too much of myself. I'm grateful that I'm here, having survived all this and still remaining human. I'm not without fault; I'm very quick-tempered and often succumb to emotional outbursts. But I'm trying to be better. Forgive everyone I've let down. There was simply no other way. But now I'm determined. I want to leave my story to the world. I want to start making my own designer clothes, paint pictures on canvases, build a mega-cozy cat shelter. I FUCKING WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE, NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT IS. 
missed you guys, forgive me and accept me… please.
my telegram channel with my pets https://t.me/g00dc1t
my art telegram channel (russian) https://t.me/plaksapisya
coming soon twitter
my https://boosty.to/plaksapisya
you may remember me from these accounts 
vomitshit 
1R1SKA they are no longer relevant 
I don't even know where to begin. Debt, depression, war, flashbacks from the past. All of this led to months of isolation. Ha-ha, the business failed... leaving me with a horrific amount of debt. I lost my love for my creative work. I wanted to escape the nightmarish memories, nothing helped except maybe myself. Forgive me for worrying you. I was convinced I was unwanted, that my life was doomed. I tried to kill myself with gas, and not only that... twice I was clinically dead. After surviving, I was devastated, did nothing, wanted nothing, and the debts grew and continue to grow. Surprisingly, in isolation… I found a kind of peace. I fed birds and animals, only talking to them. I told them how hard it was to live after being repeatedly raped… by my own grandfather. For twenty years I've lived with this nightmare; it doesn't even leave me in my sleep. I confessed this to others and to myself, and people turned away. It broke me. I lost faith in kindness, I lost faith in people. It turns out, several people missed me, cried… suffered. Forgive me. I probably needed more feedback; I didn't know that… my survival mattered to anyone. Now I know. I want to live. I'm trying to work and pay off my debts. I've realized how I want to create – for myself, not to please others. I've realized that I'm drawn to creativity. I no longer want to demand too much of myself. I'm grateful that I'm here, having survived all this and still remaining human. I'm not without fault; I'm very quick-tempered and often succumb to emotional outbursts. But I'm trying to be better. Forgive everyone I've let down. There was simply no other way. But now I'm determined. I want to leave my story to the world. I want to start making my own designer clothes, paint pictures on canvases, build a mega-cozy cat shelter. I FUCKING WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE, NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT IS. 
missed you guys, forgive me and accept me… please. my telegram channel with my pets https://t.me/g00dc1t
my art telegram channel (russian) https://t.me/plaksapisya
coming soon twitter
my https://boosty.to/plaksapisya
Glad to see you back!
fuck it we ball
I'm happy you're back. I hope you thrive one day. Your art reminds me that I'm nkt alone, but also just has such a cool aesthetic. Cheers, mate.
You're a really good person. if you can go through all that and still be positive about life.