Hi, I finally feel like writing a journal about my current state of affairs.
My absence and lack of content was due to a huge emotional low, I think the biggest I've ever had.
I've never talked about myself, so this will be like a huge weight off my shoulders.
For many years, I dedicated myself to fetish drawing as a form of escape until the bubble finally burst. I had lost my biggest placebo and no longer felt pleasure drawing, looking at it, or talking about it. It caused me a lot of problems because that's my main source of income.
All my problems came back emotionally, very strongly. Abuse when I was 8 caused my low self-esteem, and I had problems with "Ana and Mia." (Eating disorder) in my teens that lasted for several years, to the point where my doctor wondered how I was still alive.
I didn't want to be a woman. I believed that by denying myself I could protect myself from everything that hurt me. I hated myself for most of my life.

That changed a year ago. I reflected and learned to love myself for who I am. I entered my pastel phase, ahah. I started wearing dresses again and letting my hair grow.
I feel great. I've started enjoying drawing again. I know we're all strangers on the internet, but it fills my self-esteem and my heart to know that there are people who like what I do.
I appreciate the support during all the years I have been on this platform.

Thanks for reading, and have a great week <3.