So, I need to come clean to the couple of people this may affect; I was working on artwork in the background during my supposed 'hiatus' I've had for about 3 or so weeks. Finished a piece for a friend, and was working on a piece for myself.

I calmed since the thing in my life which I still won't mention happened, and although it's ongoing in the terms that nothing has become of it, I'm not letting it affect my artwork endeavors, as is obvious by the fact I picked it up in secret despite not lifting my embargo on it publicly.

Something new has made me have an immense feeling of dissatisfaction towards artwork; I won't get into many details here either, but it stems from me feeling that my art doesn't look as good as it should, for the fact I've been doing it as long as I have.

Make no mistake, I value my art. I've made pieces I adore and look fondly back on, but objectively, when put side-by-side with other's works, it makes me feel awful knowing it'll likely never be where theirs is. My stuff is simple in comparison. My shading lacking and simple - if there's any at all.

I don't have a very good drawing tablet, it's a basic, no-screen one which can't discern brush orientation, making using more complex brushes impossible. Getting a nice one would require more money, which I don't have right now, and I'm not even sure I have the space for, as my desk is small and cramped.

I don't know what all to do. I want to draw to make myself happy, but it's not really happening.

I'll probably contradict myself on all this at some point soon, which I guess is a good thing, but I do that all the time. I'm sick of flip-flopping between being immensely sad out of seemingly nowhere just to be fine later, after having said things that're hard to just take back.

If you have any insight (that's more than just 'don't compare yourself') I'd be more than willing to listen and reply.