Life Needs to Chill - 2025 IRL Update
3 months ago
TW: Elderly parents, End of life journey, Toxic family dynamics.
I never share what's going on because my life tends to be full of this level of shit.
I do not wish this on others. Read at your own risk.
||So first off for those that don't know my mother [70+] had an central cerebral aneurysm that ruptured about 3 years ago and it basically destroyed her frontal lobes.
She has had two mini stroke since. She basically isnt the same woman she was before and its haunting. None the less she was doing fine, in fact a bit better, and then like last week she just stopped being okay. Freaked out on Her husband, Steve. {Now ex husband because for some reason they got divorced in the middle of all this probably because of her crazy and inability of judgment and risk}.
She is alone in her house for the next week because steve is in California visiting his second son {not my biological brother} I have Keys to the gate and house just in case.
They finally sold all three of their horses, so thank god she cant get hurt doing care for them. She's been allowed to drive again, and all that. She is one oopsie away from death.
I really don't want to be the one to find her if she falls, or gets hurt. Part of me wants her to pass because she is suffering and trapped in her own head and I know it. It's been such a looming cloud of fuckery. I have 3 brothers 2 of which are doing much better than I and COULD help but one is a an addict piece of shit who legally owes my mom 26 grand but hasn't paid his court ordered payments in over 3 years, another one lives 2 hrs away and doesn't talk to mom because his wife doesn't like her, and the third is in Oregon and my mom excommunicated him in like 2005.
So, I'm left to be the sole child that gives a single flying fuck. I'm obligated to not telling them shit because it was my moms last real cognoscente wish was to just leave my brothers out of her dying or going down hill. I will respect that because TBH they are all pretty shit people who will try to take what ever my mom has left for money and run off with it.
ON top of all That I have to care and live with the fact I'm doing this for the women that abandoned me for 17 years because I was "too much" at the age of 13. SO I JUST HAD GOTTEN MY MOM BACK IN MY LIFE BEFORE ALL THIS. And now she's basically gone but not and she doesn't want shit to do with me because I fucking emptied her pantry of expired food {old senile people get mad over dumb shit 100% of the time}. So I'm absolutely emotionally done. ADDING TO THIS: WE can not prove she is incapable of making her own decisions we have tried. We tried to get her in a home she was deinied becasue she wasn't senile enough. We got denied because she refuses to go to the doctor and we cant force her legally. she's also been talking to scammers for like over a year now and sending some fucking piece of shit in another country her SSI money because she thinks its fucking Keanu Reeves, but she can make her own choices says the law. Like I want this to end. ||
Just know I'm trying and I'm tired.