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I’m afraid of continuing the comic.
2 months ago
Zhurzh has entered overthinking mode.
I’ve been working on this comic for years now. Over that time, it’s gained momentum — especially an audience that’s waiting to see what happens next. And now, the moment has come: both Altumar and I are ready to move the story forward. But today, while working on the storyboard, impostor syndrome hit me hard.
(Impostor syndrome is that feeling of uncertainty about your own creative accomplishments. Like you don’t really deserve what you’ve built. Like you’re somehow tricking your audience or peers by pretending to be a “real” artist or storyteller).
I feel like I’ve stepped past the “safe zone,” and from this point on, with every new page, the weight of responsibility — for the plot, the pacing, the characters — will only grow heavier. And right now, I’m scared. Scared of dragging the story out. Scared of saying something the wrong way. Scared of disappointing readers.
I keep trying to remind myself that the meaning and imagination behind this comic are, first and foremost, about me and my worldview. So I should tell the story in the way I believe is right. And besides — I never formally studied comics. I don’t even have real experience in this kind of storytelling — so why am I being so harsh on myself?!
So yeah. I’ll keep working steadily, page by page, and calm myself down by remembering the “higher” purpose that’s been guiding me all these years.
Thanks for reading 💙
Comic: The Story of Altumar
I’ve been working on this comic for years now. Over that time, it’s gained momentum — especially an audience that’s waiting to see what happens next. And now, the moment has come: both Altumar and I are ready to move the story forward. But today, while working on the storyboard, impostor syndrome hit me hard.
(Impostor syndrome is that feeling of uncertainty about your own creative accomplishments. Like you don’t really deserve what you’ve built. Like you’re somehow tricking your audience or peers by pretending to be a “real” artist or storyteller).
I feel like I’ve stepped past the “safe zone,” and from this point on, with every new page, the weight of responsibility — for the plot, the pacing, the characters — will only grow heavier. And right now, I’m scared. Scared of dragging the story out. Scared of saying something the wrong way. Scared of disappointing readers.
I keep trying to remind myself that the meaning and imagination behind this comic are, first and foremost, about me and my worldview. So I should tell the story in the way I believe is right. And besides — I never formally studied comics. I don’t even have real experience in this kind of storytelling — so why am I being so harsh on myself?!
So yeah. I’ll keep working steadily, page by page, and calm myself down by remembering the “higher” purpose that’s been guiding me all these years.
Thanks for reading 💙
Comic: The Story of Altumar
Regardless of the medium (art, must, writing, ect), we are hardest on ourselves. We see all of the reasons why we should or will fail, or that it's not worth continuing. We struggle to find/see the reasons why it IS.
You have a fan base that can be yours. People who comment and like regularly. Focus on that.
When I'm struggling the most, I try to focus on the one or two people who constantly ask me about my stories. They want the next one. I keep going for them. Even when I want to stop.
I'm struggling myself right now. My latest novel might be my best to date, but I have sold like two copies in the last 8 months. I SUCK at marketing. So I'm having to work to keep myself going. Thus what I said comes from being in a similar place. ;)
That number (your following) doesn't many anything. You're just another person like us. :3
And we like what you make. If we didn't, we wouldn't be following you. <3
Numbers, as such, really don’t mean anything. But I still think it’s important to remember and acknowledge that behind each one is a real person — a viewer who’s interested in my work. And even though it does feel like a responsibility, at the same time I understand that this is also my support and foundation. Thank you again ^^
This is just a reminder that you are not beholden to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to make your comic a certain way, then you should do that. If you ever genuinely want to stop or take a break, then you should do that too.
You don't owe anybody your comic. Whatever way you decide to make your art, there will be people who will value it and people who don't. Make it the way you want it, and its authenticity will speak to someone. Those are the people who it's for. Nobody is being "tricked." Even if someone is disappointed, I mean... so what? Let them be. It's not for them, then.
Trust me -- worrying about being "good enough" for people goes nowhere. Do what is most fulfilling for you. It's a lot easier that way.
First and foremost, make your comic for you and only you. Don't worry about what readers think. There will always be people who will never be satisfied. I've had my fare share of wild viewers who comment things or just completely misinterpret media. But my stories aren't for them, they're for me.
You make sure your comic is to your standard, and has the moments and resolution that -you- look forward too. If you don't enjoy it anymore, and only feel like you're doing it out of obligation, it's okay to stop too. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to drop it completely too. It's all up to you first and foremost.
You will always be your biggest critic, but one thing to remember? Done is better than that perfect. You the sooner you make a mistake, the sooner you can improve.
& There's not such thing as not being a 'real' or 'true' artist. you make art? You're an artist. That's it. Create for your joy, create for your sorrow and anger, create for every part of your being, create for you, and only you. Everything else is a bonus.