okay, I really liked comments under my previous ramble journal, so why not making another one?
actually this few years were very rough for me, and I think, for most people I know too..
but I wanted to say the more I think about my art as a hobby and way to express my own self instead of a job the more confident I actually feel?
I was working at my OC story and personal art for the past three years not only because I losed my ability to make art for money, but also because I actually really enjoyed writing and drawing my own ideas, it was a great way to cope for me and to fight my awful thoughts and feelings.. and since I still can feel bad about sharing something not perfect orr getting not enought "hearts" on sm I feel much more healthy about what I am doing and why. I don't actually depend that heavily of any statistics anymore. the odd part is what my statistics actually got better after that haha. I think the real secret is to stop worrying about it too much and just do the thing you want to do...
I really enjoy FA still being alive and still being an art gallery despite a social media. I really enjoy it doesn't censored as much as other sites do, even while I am not interested in heavy fetish art, I kinda, enjoy the freedom lol. aand actually since I don't feel that pressure anymore where "NSFW art is an easy money, just draw NSFW" (which is not true) I actually feel more interested in such art and want to draw something myself.. since some of my ocs are kinky actually, and I can't do anything about it. but it would be fun I think.
I even had an idea for the first time in a long time to open commissions. I don't want to be a brand, I am not a professional artist or whatever, I just want to make my little contribution in a furry oc fandom and make some people happy, if it still makes sense in 2025. I don't want it to be my fulltime job, and actually, my mental health problems will not allow me to work as an artist fulltime. but I want to try it as, well, an experience? I want to let people who actually might be interested in my art get their idea drawn by me. I am proud of every commission I did in the past and usually the feedback I was getting was very positive as well.
but atm I will continue to work on my personal projects, I have a lot of work in progress and hopefuly I will be brave enough to try making a little comics!! ^w^
I am still suffering from my mental and physical health condition, so as always, I will be in my regular slow mode... I might finally try to get a disability and hopefully that could help me a little bit..