Life do be pretty crazy aha...

I've had a wild ride since i left Sixth form back in 2015 which is a damn long ten years ago if i must say... the things I've happened to go through, the route and road has been so up and down, shit feels like a roller-coaster that won't stop zooming and i don't see it halting anytime soon but i believe that its a good thing! Surprising right? Lmao...

I was stupid kid at 18, i was against anything involving the LGBTQ, i hated most things in life in general, trying drugs, leaving the good things behind and even friends in the process... although some of them have turned for the worse and its best kept that way. I never knew about the furry fandom until around 2017 when i turned 20 and being an East London lad with a very diverse friend group, all consisting of religious Islamic friends , it was never on my radar, so stumbling upon it was weird at first, then something switched, i always thought of myself as this funny, unique and witty person (Kek... I know) and found that the furry community are quite unique just like me, a lot of bubbly and strange characters and at first i just looked into the fandom since then, the usual SFW and NSFW stuff... The variety of things on display was pretty intense! Arts, crafts, everything you could think of, this shit was peak, but i would never tell anyone so i just kept it to myself as i browsed on.

Turning 23, i actually took my first leap into the fandom, fur affinity, furry twitter and deviant art at the time, hell i even tried making a fursona under the name of Sushimitsu... (Yes, its a play on Yoshimitsu... it was ass) But i quickly stopped everything after my health scare, soon after turning 23 i had an extreme panic attacked which lasted for 3months at its peak, not only that, but i developed a panic attack disorder from the ordeal and had to relearn how to use my body, my mind had devolved which was fucking scary. Had to retrain my mouth to open and chew, regain balance, learn how to deal with vertigo for months, understand that i dealt with hallucinations, plus stopping my mind giving me vile images at all times of the day and night... but with learning to do all this, my life has changed since then, once turning 24, i realized my life would change forever, i would never be able to go back to my previous life due this disorder kicking in. I kind of just accepted it as curse and moved on with my life. I stopped all things furry, i couldn't play video games, watch tv or listen to music at that specific time as it would give me constant fear, i had to train my mind to understand what was real and what was not.

The journey was hell and i am surprised to be alive to be quite honest.

Once university finished, i was 26, i dropped out multiple times due to illness, my life wasn't going anywhere. During that time, i converted to Islam, i visited outside of the UK for the first time under the affects of my new antidepressants and beta-blockers (Which ive been on and off since i was 17) To Milan of all places with my best mate and his girlfriend and boy... it was amazing, the italian pizza and pasta is fucking insane! i will say though, the fast food pizza is ass and the restaurant pizza is pure bliss... Them canals were great.

When i got back home i revisited the furry fandom again, looked into everything and anything, i was taken away from all sides. I even questioned my sexuality and my religion at the time, going through many thoughts thinking who actually am i? Turns out I'm someone completely different than i thought to be. I looked at a lot of LGBTQ content, i watched countless hours of fur-suiting videos and some furry streamers thinking to myself, this shits cool, i want to be apart of this. Looking at how cute everything is and how free the people are, i thought why not! Let me go full furry! At the same time, i tried same sex dating... very quickly i realized I'm actually Bi and not religious at all... now from a technical viewpoint, it sounds bad because all my friends are Islamic and they think I'm straight as fuck since if you looked at me and the way i act, its not really obvious, they probably think I'm just the fat white funny guy lmao which sounded really fitting for me tbh... then again, i've had that title since i was 13 from them so that's that xD

At 27, i had big arguments with my friends, they still don't know till this day that i am not Religious or Bisexual, which sounds bad but i've known these guys since i was 12 and its hard to come out to them even at 28, not because i can't tell em, but i know they wouldn't be my mates after all this. A few would still be close friends but this is my life and i just don't need to tell em about it. Yes, it sounds stupid, but they are very against the LGBTQ and it all, i had to argue with them for 3 hours on a car journey from Scotland once defending the LGBTQ members and community as they believed they shouldn't be allowed rights plus they should die, which hurt but i stood strong against em... and those 3 ex friends are history. I cut off all ties. Now my problem is i have too many friends... and yes they are mostly from school times. Although i have met new people since then, a few from the Barq App, a really cool dood from Grindr (I was new to this stuff okay lmao) and my lifes gotten a lot better.

Now here's the cliffhanger ending kek

Now at 28, I'm a furry by all means, i love the art, i bought loads of pins, my bag is stacked with game stuff and furry maws and paws, shits so awesome. Met a really close friend / dood and i love hanging out with him, he's a cute bastard and the game weekends are pure peak. Never knew how good monster hunter generations is xD. Met a great furry from margate who's really good with guitars, plus cute as hell... he do be the best of all cats :P Plus a green fox from down the road from me who kicks my ass at all the oldschool ps2 shooting games (Im ass) So i think lifes going great! Yes i've been through a lot... but im still here and grateful for everything. About to make my own fur-suit partial hopefully this year and go meet some more new cool people. Life is strange, dealing with this panic disorder wil always be a test everyday with never ending inflammation... but from my newfound life, i think my new friends, lifestyle and acceptance of myself will help define me going forward. I love myself and everyone i still keep in contact with. I will always advocate and help those with mental health too...

Hey you can call me Zeo :3