This story is for this post


So, I know everyone loves games and a bit of thrill — so I’m inviting you to follow my progress as I try to finally get out of the “crisis zone,” haha, where I’ve been stuck for quite a long time already.

Now briefly how I ended up here. Last year, I decided to live separately (with a friend), moved out from my mom’s, and started taking responsibility for myself. At first, it seemed like I was managing everything just fine. But, as you know, my ambitions and desires are endless — I wanted to skip the “basic level” of life (like household essentials) and jump straight into self-development, sports, and everything else… while the basics weren’t even covered properly.

Since I had some savings and wasn’t financially literate enough, I didn’t notice how normal everyday things (utilities, food, clothes, dishes, cleaning supplies) were eating up my budget. I started spending more than I was earning, without realizing it. On top of that, constant power outages messed up my schedule — I could only work whenever there was electricity. That’s how the whole year went. I was still afloat, thinking: “Okay, 2025 will be my breakthrough year!” And in some ways it was working. But something still felt off.

Even with spreadsheets and more responsible money tracking, I just couldn’t seem to get into the positive. Looking back, I’m still trying to recover from 2024, when there was no electricity and so many financial mistakes.

Now I’ve gotten used to living “from commission to commission,” but I know that’s not sustainable. Any accident, breakdown, or illness throws me out of my pseudo-normal calm life again. Am I tired? Oh, hell yes. It feels like I’m constantly drowning, then catching one breath, then drowning again. The hardest part is that every time I think “Now it’ll finally get better!” I suddenly get sick — because I want so much: to grow as an artist, to get strong in boxing (and stand up for myself), to take self-defense courses, to go swimming, to drive, to try shooting… damn, the list goes on forever. And most of all — I want to learn English, start my own YouTube channel, and stream while hanging out with you all 💗

BUUUT… here’s the “but.” Mentally, I’m already there, but in reality I can’t even always buy proper groceries. Never thought this would happen to me — sometimes eating only grains, without meat and even without veggies. I’m not complaining or trying to make you sad — just telling you honestly how it is. I really do feel like a student surviving on instant noodles, haha. And you can imagine: no energy in, no results in sports or life.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not depressed, I actually see it as a kind of challenge, a very interesting experience in my life. I know this is only temporary.

What shocks me most is how quickly the memory of “normal active life” fades (the so-called “white streak”). It’s scary how fast we adapt to a new normal.

And that’s why I’m starting this challenge. I need 3–4 months to pay off debts and get a bit more stability. For that, I need $2500 (actually more, but let’s be real — even this amount feels huge to me; the most I’ve ever had on PayPal was $400). So yeah, it’s intense.

But you know me — I’m full of passion for life, for trying new things, and for creating projects (I even want to make a furry game someday, but that’s another story).

Phew, that was a wall of text — I’ll probably post this in a journal