I guess when things seem their darkest you find peoples true nature. Valued people in your life you see as totally different people. its like you close your eyes for a second and then open them to find twisted mockeries of the people that stood before you.

This year started alright, for the most part but I saw the darker underbelly of a lot of people that I thought weren't capable of the intelligence let alone the evils and atrocities they committed.

I saw things that disgusted me this year. things that made me grow up, and grow up fast. I even turned my gaze upon myself and saw what I'd become, a mockery just like them.

I felt myself slipping this year, becoming someone I did not want to be, and it took my best friend to pull me out of the muck and start to clean me off. even after I betrayed her and treated her like garbage she was there for me. even against the world she still stands beside me as a true and valued friend.

2009 made me confront a lot of my inner demons, but also brought a lot of joy toward the end of the year.

An entire new group of people adopted me into their group as one of their own, I've drank with them, sang with them, and hung out with them, and these people are truer and nicer than any group I've ever had the pleasure of being with. there's no drama no weirdness.

So I hereby dedicate 2010 the betterment of myself and betterment of my friends.