I want to do something productive again, but at the same time I don't. I wish I knew why I'm so intimidated by my still untouched request backlog, but I just am. I don't think I'll ever be forgiven by the people who have now waited almost a year for even a single update on how much progress I've made. (which is 0) Every day I'm reminded how shitty everything has gotten and how bad everyone has it. I just don't think I can do anything right now.



Don't worry about me. No matter how much worse I feel, death isn't an option for me. If everything is burning, I'll see it through till it sizzles into ash.