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Motivation week
4 days ago
Hey yall. Been awhile since I did one of these, heck been a while since I drew. I'm not gonna lie, motivation has been severely lacking. Alot of it is due to generosity, and obsession with media.
It's not bad to be generous, but when you're too generous, you can overwhelm yourself. I've certainly done that. For a while I offered free requests, private requests, planned gifts, art trades, anything that didn't require payment. Anything to feel loved in a community that liked what I like. What it left was a trail of empty promises, sad costumers, angry ones too. Most of discord friends stop talking to me either because they moved on with their lives while others I bet I disappointed so much that they gave up on me. I don't blame them, and I respect their decision. I hate myself more than anyone else does.
As for the media, I like a lot of folks, have been glue to the cesspool of media binging. Every morning qnd night I watch nothing but youtube and talk on discord, when I'm cooking, when I'm eating, when I'm drawing! It's gotten so bad now that I watch more than draw. I've slacked on projects, have shelfs of games untouched, movies unwatched, trash piling up. And for what? To watch the same avgn episodes over and over (sometimes as background noise), news about how the gaming industry is going down the toilet, how game mechanics are being patented 💢, the same annoying soulless ai ads. It's gotten so bad, I can't help but feel only uneven when I see a trailer for insomniacs wolverine. I should feel excited for anything with Logan in it, but after witnessing Spiderman 2, dear gosh 😞.
Anyway, my point is, I've overwhelmed myself and obsessed over media, thus I lost alot of motivation. It's gotten so bad, that for a month, I fooled around with ai for personal pleasure (mask stuff of course). Unfortunately i got so addicted i put pleasure before talent. I don't hate anyone who prefers ai for art or whatever, more power to ya, but im done.
I'm done with ai, I'm done with media, I'm done free requests.
I'm gonna take a long break, get some things worked out, try to get my motivation back, finish up some projects in the meantime. If any of you hate me or wanna leave me, I respect your decision and i won't hold anything against you. I just need to get back on track with some things, my drawing, my gaming, etc. Eventually I'll come back to discord, I'm not running away, and I'm not going the decent into madness. Its more a artistic journey, free from modern day, where I'm not told what to like, or how to draw. In other words, I'm going back to the 90s for a week. Await my return friends.
And to all who I've wronged, I'm so so sorry. Those awaiting art trades, they're still coming, I promise.
It's not bad to be generous, but when you're too generous, you can overwhelm yourself. I've certainly done that. For a while I offered free requests, private requests, planned gifts, art trades, anything that didn't require payment. Anything to feel loved in a community that liked what I like. What it left was a trail of empty promises, sad costumers, angry ones too. Most of discord friends stop talking to me either because they moved on with their lives while others I bet I disappointed so much that they gave up on me. I don't blame them, and I respect their decision. I hate myself more than anyone else does.
As for the media, I like a lot of folks, have been glue to the cesspool of media binging. Every morning qnd night I watch nothing but youtube and talk on discord, when I'm cooking, when I'm eating, when I'm drawing! It's gotten so bad now that I watch more than draw. I've slacked on projects, have shelfs of games untouched, movies unwatched, trash piling up. And for what? To watch the same avgn episodes over and over (sometimes as background noise), news about how the gaming industry is going down the toilet, how game mechanics are being patented 💢, the same annoying soulless ai ads. It's gotten so bad, I can't help but feel only uneven when I see a trailer for insomniacs wolverine. I should feel excited for anything with Logan in it, but after witnessing Spiderman 2, dear gosh 😞.
Anyway, my point is, I've overwhelmed myself and obsessed over media, thus I lost alot of motivation. It's gotten so bad, that for a month, I fooled around with ai for personal pleasure (mask stuff of course). Unfortunately i got so addicted i put pleasure before talent. I don't hate anyone who prefers ai for art or whatever, more power to ya, but im done.
I'm done with ai, I'm done with media, I'm done free requests.
I'm gonna take a long break, get some things worked out, try to get my motivation back, finish up some projects in the meantime. If any of you hate me or wanna leave me, I respect your decision and i won't hold anything against you. I just need to get back on track with some things, my drawing, my gaming, etc. Eventually I'll come back to discord, I'm not running away, and I'm not going the decent into madness. Its more a artistic journey, free from modern day, where I'm not told what to like, or how to draw. In other words, I'm going back to the 90s for a week. Await my return friends.
And to all who I've wronged, I'm so so sorry. Those awaiting art trades, they're still coming, I promise.
Hope the lack of follow up messages when I returned the favor with a sketch didn't add on to that whole "Discord friends stop messaging me" part. For me, I tend to not always keep up with folks either from worry of annoyance or just my inability to share much save for occasions where there's a recent shared interest. A silly franchise we like or something to that degree.
That being said, for whatever take I have on the rest what you've said; I DO think you should work on projects that YOU want to do instead of doing straight up for others. Especially unpaid. You got a talent. You should get money for your time and work. Either that or with someone who has the same skill as you.
The bit about media consumption I understand. I'm willing to admit trying the same and can understand that even if you're making "gens" for yourself; it does desensitize you into ideas that you'd otherwise want to put further effort or expansion into.
I wish I knew something to be poignant here that could be inspiring for you but the only thing is that I hope you're able to regain your motivation and drive to make stuff you enjoy.