The first thing to accept is that at the start, your work won't be the best. I don't really believe in natural talent for drawing -- the only natural thing is the mindset that can accept the aforementioned concept of not being immediately good. Something I always tell people is to put SOMETHING on the page and save it. Don't delete it because you think it's not "good enough" or anything, because it serves as a baseline for you to compare your later attempts to and see progress.

Another really important thing to do is actually...well, enjoy what you're doing. As my girlfriend calls it, the "dicking around factor" is paramount in maintaining your interest in drawing. You can't be on a constant grind every art session -- it's okay to just doodle something and get a kick out of it. If there's no joy, there will be no motivation.

Lastly, it's okay for your stuff to not "look great". Observe what looks off and then look up pictures of what you'd expect it to look like. Take some notes from what you observe and try incorporating them next time. And remember to ask people for help! (But it looks like you have that covered with this journal :P)

Thank you, I guess I should try to get into the habit of doodling, though it's hard to figure out a comfortable position to do it in sometimes too

No advice, but I have similar struggles.
I have a burning desire to be able to draw anything beyond stick figures, Ive tried sites like drawabox, and the app artworkout but to no-real success, like i can follow the tutorials but as soon as i try and "doodle" something beyond stick figures, Its like ive learned nothing, and cant even get a rough shape on paper similarly killing motivation.
If you do find something that works to "get started" id be interested.