Seven years ago, I wrote an infamous essay entitled “Keep Kids Out of Vore.” Today, I decided to delete that essay from my page because, it turns out, the topic is actually more complicated than I originally opined. Since then, I have been doing a lot of reading about this sensitive subject, and the combination of the reliable academic research and experiences of real people combined with the current anti-porn political climate has given me a lot to think about.

I think I was wrong.

I wanted to believe that my essay was doing good, that it was helping to articulate an argument against something I thought was inherently problematic.

I want to consider myself sex-positive and kink-positive. More importantly, I want to consider myself in favor of good mental health. And the essay I wrote failed to back up that desired reputation. What I thought was logical and obvious was, as dissenters tried to point out to me at the time, emotional and self-focused. I thought that I could be pro every kink… except the one. And as we see more and more adult content quashed under puritanical fascists, I have come to realize that by trying to draw a line in the sand between kinks, that I was doing the fascistic work for them.

When I first wrote that essay, several people tried to tell me I had things wrong, and I didn’t listen to them. I was too drunk on my own self-assuredness. My essay was narrow-minded, acephobic, and hypocritical. I thought that the people arguing with me were trying to justify something bad. It turns out that I was the one doing the justifications. I was trying to use a complicated topic I was severely lacking information of to justify my own hangups with content I wasn’t comfortable with. I brazenly and arrogantly spoke for other people. I burned bridges, alienated friends, and contributed to the terrible anti-porn machine currently ravaging our online spaces.

I know deleting the posts doesn’t change anything. The damage has been done. In my overzealousness, I demonized and hurt people who had done no actual harm to any actual people. I don’t know what opinions on this topic I should have right now, but I know what opinions I don’t want to have, and they were the ignorant ones I wrote up seven years ago. But this is a very complicated topic, and I am not equipped to say more on the subject. I don’t have answers. I don’t have advice. All I have are apologies.

I was wrong, and I am sorry.