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September-October
4 weeks ago
Oops, September came and went and I didn't make a journal.
Well, to be fair, I just didn't feel like it, a bunch of bad things happened (and most of them are my fault) and I've been feeling really down lately. Drawing has been tough too, I've been thinking to just go back to grinding anatomy books and all that which is ultimately a bad habit of mine, grinding things out instead of tackling more worthwhile projects and endeavors.
I am pretty messy when it comes to drawing, pretty quick too, I usually don't use solid references and mostly grab a bunch of images for vibes and draw something completely different, so I just bounce from idea to idea and all my lines are searching lines. It all becomes a gamble, I might have something in my head but it's a complete toss-up if I ever manage to put it in paper how I want it or not, if all the searching brings something forward or not... So it's pretty unreliable, and frustrating too! Spending hours to just have a sketch that looks like shit is pretty discouraging!
So I'm not really sure what to do, I wanna figure out a way to just, build things up, a process that I can say it's mine so I can finally do all the things I WANT to do instead of being like "oh i forgot how to do legs lets make legs for a week, oh i forgot to render, let's do painting studies for a week." But ahh... I don't know, should I just go back to basics?! Should I start drawabox again?! (I'm joking, I'm never going to do drawabox again)
How does one find a comfy process if not by just trying and trying again for months and months and feeling like shit and failing and struggling? Friends tell me I have the technical skills but... I don't buy it at all!
It's all so frustrating... October is not quite my month, if anything, things always go wrong in October... Ah, well, It'll pass... I'll try to focus on my university assignments and try to do a little doodling on the side, sorry I haven't posted much of anything at all this year, it saddens me personally, and I don't like using my "responsibilities" as an excuse because to be fair a functional adult wouldn't find any of this particularly hard to manage...
Well, to be fair, I just didn't feel like it, a bunch of bad things happened (and most of them are my fault) and I've been feeling really down lately. Drawing has been tough too, I've been thinking to just go back to grinding anatomy books and all that which is ultimately a bad habit of mine, grinding things out instead of tackling more worthwhile projects and endeavors.
I am pretty messy when it comes to drawing, pretty quick too, I usually don't use solid references and mostly grab a bunch of images for vibes and draw something completely different, so I just bounce from idea to idea and all my lines are searching lines. It all becomes a gamble, I might have something in my head but it's a complete toss-up if I ever manage to put it in paper how I want it or not, if all the searching brings something forward or not... So it's pretty unreliable, and frustrating too! Spending hours to just have a sketch that looks like shit is pretty discouraging!
So I'm not really sure what to do, I wanna figure out a way to just, build things up, a process that I can say it's mine so I can finally do all the things I WANT to do instead of being like "oh i forgot how to do legs lets make legs for a week, oh i forgot to render, let's do painting studies for a week." But ahh... I don't know, should I just go back to basics?! Should I start drawabox again?! (I'm joking, I'm never going to do drawabox again)
How does one find a comfy process if not by just trying and trying again for months and months and feeling like shit and failing and struggling? Friends tell me I have the technical skills but... I don't buy it at all!
It's all so frustrating... October is not quite my month, if anything, things always go wrong in October... Ah, well, It'll pass... I'll try to focus on my university assignments and try to do a little doodling on the side, sorry I haven't posted much of anything at all this year, it saddens me personally, and I don't like using my "responsibilities" as an excuse because to be fair a functional adult wouldn't find any of this particularly hard to manage...
