Blah, here comes Fang with more depressing crap about how he hates his life. oh well

This year for me has been rather lonely and upsetting for me where it matters. It feels like it's been full of hopes and dreams. Not the kind where they're like goals you strive for, but the kind where you know the only way it's gonna happen is in you're dreams. And even then it barely hapoens. I've been pretty much hoping and dreaming of some kind of love or close friendship that wilk make me feel like I'm worth something, or that life is still worth living. Work hasn't been the most fun over the past week or so, tension and some arguing here and there. it's just been depressing. Family relations have gotten no better than they have been, and the people I know as friends just aren't able to help me. Some pretend they care, but they don't. Some just flat out don't care. They say they don't want to deal with the "drama." Even though I break my back doing things for them and short my own money buying them things and unselfishly loaning money, paying for food, listening to troubles and problems. Pretty much being the best friend I can be. And None of them return tne efforts. I feel like I'm lying to all of them because I won't just telk them what's up, and cus I'm too nice for that. But to be completely honest, I feel like if I did point out some of the major things that are going on, there'd be conflict and I'd lose them because already have plenty of friends other than me and it probably wouldn't hurt them to just lose one. I don't really know what to do anymore. It's like I'm doomed for heartbreak, failure and loneliness. And I guess my Ney Years Resolution would be to find a friend who doesn't treat me like a tool..

Next suckish thing is, My two closest friends, whom I am in love with(both), are enlisted in ths marines. Wen June rolls around, one ships for basic training and that stuff, while the other is getting deployed... I don't know how to keep myself happy for long anymore... Everything is just kinda messed up. I'm so freakin bored and lonely that I typed all this on my Wii.. sad huh? Happy New Year everyone. Hope you all have a great one. Be careful of the obligation's you make.