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a week ago
Hello furry friends,
In lieu of it being the month in which I become officially one more year older, I'm going to reflect on all the shit that's happened since I turned officially a quarter century old.
Timeline:
- October 2024
- - I started gaining traction on twitter for real. I made stuff for people who were still in my life.
- November 2024
- - I fell in love with someone across the world for some reason. If they're reading this they're probably cringing, but it's a well meaning cringe I hope
- - I went out to see some important musical shows. I met a lot of people for the first time.
- - I met my current wonderful girlfriend...
- December 2024
- - My relationship with my ex began to unravel for real. Things had been getting bad for a while. We hadn't really been talking, and we were realizing our goals no longer align. We also just stopped liking eachother. We didn't want to become our parents, so we decided, in the parking lot of a fast food drive thru that we would no longer be together. We cried and we laughed and I finally felt free. And empty. It was almost 7 years, if only just for one more month.
- - I had my first real month alone. It was very cold. I started talking to the people who are probably really sitting down and reading this more and more.
- - I started to lean more and more into my independent life, but me and my ex and my ex roommate all still hung out together. My ex gave me rides to school. We were just friends though.
- January 2025
- - School starts. I start to panic because I want to leave the country. I sign up for only online classes. It was a folly of mine.
- - Me and my furry friends become closer. Me and my past life friends become more distant.
- - I think this is when I cut off someone I used to be friends with. It wasn't a good thing for me to do. I'm mean.
- February 2025
- - There are weeks when decades happen. And there are months where nothing happens. Except for more of the same. Grooves being grooved.
- March 2025
- - I move out at the end of the month.
- - I met my new roommate, a kindly middle aged woman who is one of my closest friends now
- - School is stressing me out to the point where I'm losing weeks worth of getting enough sleep.
- April 2025
- - I cut someone else off. This will be a pattern. It was another folly of mine.
- - The stress of everything changing is starting to catch up with me. I start to go a little manic.
- May 2025
- - I started to hit the peak of my manic episode.
- - School is stressful to the point where I can barely think of anything else. I cry a lot.
- - I go to more very influential music concerts. I meet someone who becomes a major red herring for my summer
- - I start to get overwhelmed with my friends. My 3 very close friends
- - I get increasingly obsessively mad with one, I get increasingly close to another... who will be very important later on in this timeline.
- June 2025
- - There are months when whole months happen.
- - I blow up and cut off my closest friends. One of them because I irrationally hated her fucking guts. This is not a good thing. Write this down. The other, I did because I was afraid of falling in love
- - Me and my ex have our last little hang outs
- - I do so much art work and get a ton of printers. To fill the emptiness.
- - Not talking to your friends will make you feel loneliness you could only ever feel from blowing up your social life for no reason
- July 2025
- - I spend most of this month apologizing to people
- - I did a lot of apologizing
- - And thinking about people who I wronged in the past year
- - One who is no longer alive.
- -
- August 2025
- - School starts back up again.
- - My ex tells me to move on.
- - I find another apartment and start moving in
- - I tell the girl who's been madly in love with me that I'm in love with her too
- September 2025
- - It's my first month on my own for real. It's hard.
- - It's easier with my friends.
- - It's even easier with my girlfriend
- - My precious gf comes to visit me and we spend a week tuning up a computer to play legally downloaded games on my old TV
- October 2025
- - Here we are, welcome to the middle of October
As of now, things are... they sure are.
Things have been great with me and my girlfriend
Things have been bordering on incomprehensible with my other friends. On account of. Well. It's not ground that needs treading more.
Things have been hard financially
Things have been awesome artistically
Things are now very strange because I have been properly medicated for the world's worst case of ADHD
Things I've learned:
Don't cut people out of your fucking life. I've learned to just take a back seat sometimes. And try to get some perspective on all the stupid decisions you've been making before you make even more stupider ones. All of this sounds pretty generic huh. My big takeaway from 2025 is that so much shit happened this year that I don't think I'll be able to fully unwrap it for a couple years
To the people who read this far. I love you and you deserved better from me this year. This isn't like a suicide note or anything, just an apology lol. Also, awesome things have happened this year too! It's just... an overwhelmingly eventful year full of folly for me, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
- Poppy
In lieu of it being the month in which I become officially one more year older, I'm going to reflect on all the shit that's happened since I turned officially a quarter century old.
Timeline:
- October 2024
- - I started gaining traction on twitter for real. I made stuff for people who were still in my life.
- November 2024
- - I fell in love with someone across the world for some reason. If they're reading this they're probably cringing, but it's a well meaning cringe I hope
- - I went out to see some important musical shows. I met a lot of people for the first time.
- - I met my current wonderful girlfriend...
- December 2024
- - My relationship with my ex began to unravel for real. Things had been getting bad for a while. We hadn't really been talking, and we were realizing our goals no longer align. We also just stopped liking eachother. We didn't want to become our parents, so we decided, in the parking lot of a fast food drive thru that we would no longer be together. We cried and we laughed and I finally felt free. And empty. It was almost 7 years, if only just for one more month.
- - I had my first real month alone. It was very cold. I started talking to the people who are probably really sitting down and reading this more and more.
- - I started to lean more and more into my independent life, but me and my ex and my ex roommate all still hung out together. My ex gave me rides to school. We were just friends though.
- January 2025
- - School starts. I start to panic because I want to leave the country. I sign up for only online classes. It was a folly of mine.
- - Me and my furry friends become closer. Me and my past life friends become more distant.
- - I think this is when I cut off someone I used to be friends with. It wasn't a good thing for me to do. I'm mean.
- February 2025
- - There are weeks when decades happen. And there are months where nothing happens. Except for more of the same. Grooves being grooved.
- March 2025
- - I move out at the end of the month.
- - I met my new roommate, a kindly middle aged woman who is one of my closest friends now
- - School is stressing me out to the point where I'm losing weeks worth of getting enough sleep.
- April 2025
- - I cut someone else off. This will be a pattern. It was another folly of mine.
- - The stress of everything changing is starting to catch up with me. I start to go a little manic.
- May 2025
- - I started to hit the peak of my manic episode.
- - School is stressful to the point where I can barely think of anything else. I cry a lot.
- - I go to more very influential music concerts. I meet someone who becomes a major red herring for my summer
- - I start to get overwhelmed with my friends. My 3 very close friends
- - I get increasingly obsessively mad with one, I get increasingly close to another... who will be very important later on in this timeline.
- June 2025
- - There are months when whole months happen.
- - I blow up and cut off my closest friends. One of them because I irrationally hated her fucking guts. This is not a good thing. Write this down. The other, I did because I was afraid of falling in love
- - Me and my ex have our last little hang outs
- - I do so much art work and get a ton of printers. To fill the emptiness.
- - Not talking to your friends will make you feel loneliness you could only ever feel from blowing up your social life for no reason
- July 2025
- - I spend most of this month apologizing to people
- - I did a lot of apologizing
- - And thinking about people who I wronged in the past year
- - One who is no longer alive.
- -
- August 2025
- - School starts back up again.
- - My ex tells me to move on.
- - I find another apartment and start moving in
- - I tell the girl who's been madly in love with me that I'm in love with her too
- September 2025
- - It's my first month on my own for real. It's hard.
- - It's easier with my friends.
- - It's even easier with my girlfriend
- - My precious gf comes to visit me and we spend a week tuning up a computer to play legally downloaded games on my old TV
- October 2025
- - Here we are, welcome to the middle of October
As of now, things are... they sure are.
Things have been great with me and my girlfriend
Things have been bordering on incomprehensible with my other friends. On account of. Well. It's not ground that needs treading more.
Things have been hard financially
Things have been awesome artistically
Things are now very strange because I have been properly medicated for the world's worst case of ADHD
Things I've learned:
Don't cut people out of your fucking life. I've learned to just take a back seat sometimes. And try to get some perspective on all the stupid decisions you've been making before you make even more stupider ones. All of this sounds pretty generic huh. My big takeaway from 2025 is that so much shit happened this year that I don't think I'll be able to fully unwrap it for a couple years
To the people who read this far. I love you and you deserved better from me this year. This isn't like a suicide note or anything, just an apology lol. Also, awesome things have happened this year too! It's just... an overwhelmingly eventful year full of folly for me, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
- Poppy
I hope the rest of 2025 goes well for you poppy
Best of lock moving forward!
happy spooky birthday month hehe :3
i love stuff like this, i love these beautiful little glimpses into other peoples' lives, i love the internet, i love specifically the old era of websites like furaffinity that foster this type of journalling and intimacy.
what a full-on couple of years it's been for you!! i can relate to that for sure.. i think i've done more growing and changing in the past 2 years than i have since i was like.. in my early 20s or something.... crazy to think how this isn't even my final form yet (and what a relief too lol). crazy to consider how there isn't a final form at all.
keep on keeping on. you've gotten through SO much hardship and stress and uncertainty... i think more than anything this reveals your own strength and resilience independent from other people. i hope you can always remember that when things are getting hard!! it can be soooo scary to rely on yourself, especially if you've been led to believe that you can't be relied upon for anything.... that's been a really big hurdle for me the past 2 years. i got a lot of re-wiring to do in that area. anyway, fucking courage bro ✊