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Mental health update: I want to Die
2 months ago
General
If I die, consider this my suicide note
As of writing this, I am tired, exhausted, melancholic, any synonyms that can fit, just tape it on the list
I have recently lost my job at the car wash because an old employee wanted their job back and I got the short end of the stick, long story short, Im jobless, unable to pay my current rent and fearing becoming homeless, and with the current state of the Australian economy, I fear its going to be impossible for me to find a job
I am no longer finding joy in things that I used to, especially with art, its all starting to feel like a chore existing, I am exhausted just trying to get out of bed each morning and I want to sleep more and more. Its just basically me trying to find a point of existing really.
I can't get a job, art isn't paying my rent, and Im about to become homeless, I know it may sound drastic but I do feel like if it does come to it, it would be the best outcome, my family won't need an extra mouth to feed, they won't need to have a person who can't get a job, I generally feel better off not being alive anymore
it feels like this is the best course of action, it feels like I don't have to be tired anymore, it feels like a enormous weight will be lifted from my shoulders
if it does come to it, generally thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking around
I just can't see myself around anymore
Im sorry
Alexander
As of writing this, I am tired, exhausted, melancholic, any synonyms that can fit, just tape it on the list
I have recently lost my job at the car wash because an old employee wanted their job back and I got the short end of the stick, long story short, Im jobless, unable to pay my current rent and fearing becoming homeless, and with the current state of the Australian economy, I fear its going to be impossible for me to find a job
I am no longer finding joy in things that I used to, especially with art, its all starting to feel like a chore existing, I am exhausted just trying to get out of bed each morning and I want to sleep more and more. Its just basically me trying to find a point of existing really.
I can't get a job, art isn't paying my rent, and Im about to become homeless, I know it may sound drastic but I do feel like if it does come to it, it would be the best outcome, my family won't need an extra mouth to feed, they won't need to have a person who can't get a job, I generally feel better off not being alive anymore
it feels like this is the best course of action, it feels like I don't have to be tired anymore, it feels like a enormous weight will be lifted from my shoulders
if it does come to it, generally thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking around
I just can't see myself around anymore
Im sorry
Alexander
I'm in the same boat more or less. It might seem hard to find a reason to stick around for yourself. And you may be convinced no one cares. But I think that's not true.
I noticed on your profile you have a sweet note to your partner. I would imagine they would be devastated
I don't say this to guilt you or anything. Like, I get it. But if the tables were turned, you would probably be worried sick, no? Believe it or not, they probably feel that way about you.
And if you're like me, that is indeed hard to believe, but believe it
Any financial burden you might cause would be way less than a mental one if you left.
Again, I understand
And so I don't think you're being selfish or an asshole or anything. I hate when people call it selfish. Because maybe it is, but it's so much more than that. It's pain you're dealing with and crying out because you're in pain.
That seems pretty logical to me
But I bet there's people willing to help with that 🫂