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realizing I just cannot keep up (just venting, dw)
3 days ago
Heeheeheeheeeheeheeheeheee....... Welcome....... I see you have found this raptor's den........ Now Listen to what I have to say....... Yeah, basically what the title says.
It's not *really* that I have too much to keep up WITH (although I admit I do tbh)
I don't try to keep up with every single server and every single account I have on every platform, every day. I realized a long time ago that was just gonna be impossible going forward. So the issue isn't me stretching too thin. I know what I can handle in an average day, or at least I *thought* i did
Lately, tho, I feel like I'm fuckin' slipping faster and faster.
Hell, I can barely keep up activity with any of the rps I have going with friends. I say I want to keep going (which i do), and I say I'm gonna keep em all going. Then I just sit n' do nothing but watch fuccin youtube videos for like 3 hours instead of doing the rp I said I was gonna reply to n' keep going with. Or I'll lay down and just nap all morning when I could be socializing, doing stuff with everyone, having fun, etc.
It's not that I've lost interest in any of the rps I have going. I LOVE rp stuff, always have.
For some reason I'm just not keeping up and I'm not keeping interest in it enough to keep my attention on it for any length of time
Idk what to do about it.
I'm not wanting to cancel any rps I have going. I still *want* to do them.
I'm really just at a loss i guess, I can't really explain what the issue actually is
But it really sucks and I feel really shitty about it because I'm not keeping up my end of things.
Hell, I barely talk to more than like a select couple dozen people per month at this point, out of ALL the friends I have. I have people I really care about I haven't even dmed in like 6 months or more.
I know I'm not under any obligation to speak to anyone within any kind of time limit or time frame, just by pure logic. I'm not really beating myself up just because I haven't talked to X friend in 3 months. There's various reasons why I may GO that long without talking to someone and that's totally normal to me.
But I'm here, *really* trying this time, *really* putting in good, *honest* effort to get back in touch with people more and to reestablish friendships that have been inactive for whatever reason it may be. And it's feeling more and more like that's either not enough, or I'm just not keeping up well enough for my own satisfaction.
SO, idk where things are gonna go from here, really.
I'm NOT leaving, giving up, quitting, walking away from *any*one, none of that. I made my mind up when I decided to even embark on this comeback in the first place, that I was coming back to *stay*. And I am.
I just don't know what ima do about this situation, at this point.
I would like to request that if you know me or you know others who also know me, that you please spread this around to our mutuals and to places where it might help in getting my message out. I want to let people know that yes, I'm still here, and yes, I am trying. I am just struggling to get things *fully* back in gear again, and I need everyone to be patient with me as i sort it all out. This is gonna take some time.
On a sidenote, I will be clearing out old journals this evening, I think. I have a lot of old ones that can go bye-bye lol
Still working on my watchlist, btw. Having fun revisiting people I haven't seen in EONS hehe.
Anyhow that just about wraps this up. I'll keep you all posted as things progress and we'll see what happens in the end.
For now tho, Floof out.
It's not *really* that I have too much to keep up WITH (although I admit I do tbh)
I don't try to keep up with every single server and every single account I have on every platform, every day. I realized a long time ago that was just gonna be impossible going forward. So the issue isn't me stretching too thin. I know what I can handle in an average day, or at least I *thought* i did
Lately, tho, I feel like I'm fuckin' slipping faster and faster.
Hell, I can barely keep up activity with any of the rps I have going with friends. I say I want to keep going (which i do), and I say I'm gonna keep em all going. Then I just sit n' do nothing but watch fuccin youtube videos for like 3 hours instead of doing the rp I said I was gonna reply to n' keep going with. Or I'll lay down and just nap all morning when I could be socializing, doing stuff with everyone, having fun, etc.
It's not that I've lost interest in any of the rps I have going. I LOVE rp stuff, always have.
For some reason I'm just not keeping up and I'm not keeping interest in it enough to keep my attention on it for any length of time
Idk what to do about it.
I'm not wanting to cancel any rps I have going. I still *want* to do them.
I'm really just at a loss i guess, I can't really explain what the issue actually is
But it really sucks and I feel really shitty about it because I'm not keeping up my end of things.
Hell, I barely talk to more than like a select couple dozen people per month at this point, out of ALL the friends I have. I have people I really care about I haven't even dmed in like 6 months or more.
I know I'm not under any obligation to speak to anyone within any kind of time limit or time frame, just by pure logic. I'm not really beating myself up just because I haven't talked to X friend in 3 months. There's various reasons why I may GO that long without talking to someone and that's totally normal to me.
But I'm here, *really* trying this time, *really* putting in good, *honest* effort to get back in touch with people more and to reestablish friendships that have been inactive for whatever reason it may be. And it's feeling more and more like that's either not enough, or I'm just not keeping up well enough for my own satisfaction.
SO, idk where things are gonna go from here, really.
I'm NOT leaving, giving up, quitting, walking away from *any*one, none of that. I made my mind up when I decided to even embark on this comeback in the first place, that I was coming back to *stay*. And I am.
I just don't know what ima do about this situation, at this point.
I would like to request that if you know me or you know others who also know me, that you please spread this around to our mutuals and to places where it might help in getting my message out. I want to let people know that yes, I'm still here, and yes, I am trying. I am just struggling to get things *fully* back in gear again, and I need everyone to be patient with me as i sort it all out. This is gonna take some time.
On a sidenote, I will be clearing out old journals this evening, I think. I have a lot of old ones that can go bye-bye lol
Still working on my watchlist, btw. Having fun revisiting people I haven't seen in EONS hehe.
Anyhow that just about wraps this up. I'll keep you all posted as things progress and we'll see what happens in the end.
For now tho, Floof out.
