(Atuhor's Nose: This was meant to go up yesterday, and in fact, I could've sworn I'd submitted it. So thanks to this odd error, today's a twofer day.)


Luna Ishikawa is a dark and mysterious vampire--or so she'd like her new classmates to believe. The truth is, while she may be one of the not-so-mythical bloodsuckers, she doesn't really live up to the hype. She's short and clumsy, and she can't even suck blood properly. So when her classmate Tatsuta Otori discovers her little "drinking problem", he can't help but lend a hand.

Remember how monster girls were the big craze from like 2015 to 2020? That's all I was thinking about when I was watching this premiere, because it feels like a show that could've come out during that five-year period. The idea of monster girls in a traditional Japanese highschool setting isn't really anything new. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do with that setup while sticking with a relatively lighthearted genre. The first episode of Lil' Miss Vampire Can't Suck Right doesn't exactly reinvent the wheel or anything, but I did think it was cute enough..

Here we have the classic story of the popular highschool ice queen and the normal guy who sits beside her. Like these tales tend to go, the ice queen has far more going on underneath than it seems, and after the normal guy discovers her secret, the two become unlikely friends and eventually romantic foils. However, while the basic framework is far from original, it's what this anime builds on top of it that matters. Of course, the twist for this anime is right in the title. The ice queen character, Luna, is a vampire. In class, she plays into the stereotype of what people think vampires should be, ie. brilliant, poised and suave as all hell. The problem is, she's inept at the main thing vampires are known for, ie. bloodsucking.

What makes this silly plot work is how well it's been thought through. Not drinking blood means she's always hungry, trying to fill the void with any sweets she can shove down her throat. Beyond that, without blood, she doesn't have access to her powers, like flight. And once she starts feeding on Tatsuta, the normal guy of the story (who's so purposely nondescript and unassuming they don't even bother to animate his face unless strictly needed), we learn that being bad at sucking blood means everything from drinking too much to having to constantly reposition and make more punctures. Moreover, as Tatsuta gets to know the real Luna, he starts to see the cracks in her facade that no one else does. Sure, she solves a difficult equation on the board like it's nothing, but doesn't notice the chalk dust covering her sleeve. Then he catches her eating snacks behind her books while pretending to study, absolutely not something a noble vampire would do. It's entertaining and endearing stuff.

I like that the show doesn't try to overexplain its setting, it's just a modern setting where supernatural beings and deities happen to live amongst people, although some choice words did make it sound like there's more going on to keep the peace than what we saw here. I hope we get more of that as time goes on and the cast expands. Outside of that, it's just two awkward teenagers learning to get along and share a secret with each other. If you do it well, that's arguably all you really need, though I do question the longevity of that premise. It looks like there is a more extended cast coming, but based on what we've seen so far, I fear they might turn out a bit boring, especially since it looks like almost all of them are just going to be normal humans. I hope I'm wrong, but if you're going to introduce a world populated by monster girls, you need to have some genuine fun with that premise, don't play it safe.

I also feel like the premiere is a bit stylistically inconsistent. I love the design of our main heroine, and I know that her design is supposed to clash with her male costar, whose design is simple to the point where he doesn't even have a mouth, but he legit looks like he's drawn in a completely different artstyle. Most of the time it takes me out of it more than it makes me laugh. I do like the joke about how Luna goes into a bit of a chibi mode whenever she gets excited. The show addresses it but doesn't clarify whether it's just a visual gag or some Umaru-chan thing where she's actually doing it.

All that being said, I have so many questions. How has Luna never sucked blood before? Or does she mean she's never sucked it from a live person, as opposed to a blood bag or an animal? Are her parents also vampires? Why are they allowing their daughter to starve herself via her own incompetence? But at the moment, these aren't plot holes--rather, they show that I'm caring enough about this show to want to learn more about the characters and their lives. And frankly, that's a very good sign. Let's be real, I can't see this being the breakout hit of the season, but I think there's enough here to keep me satisfied.