I feel so much warmth in my own home. Especially now that I'm cleaning it and everything smells nice. Sometimes I go into the bathroom and shout "Fuck, this smells good." Lol. It is a good time. It was quite difficult adjusting to being happy and removing survival mode, which I've been in since I was 18, sadly.

But I am getting there now, i think my new job allows for a casual routine for my life, which i desperately needed to be honest with you. there was no reason to put so much pressure on myself, but i did so anyway. however, its ok. sometimes its what we need to push ourselves forward.