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a month ago
Hello, so how's going. I don't know if it's been noticed here. I don't know if some thought that I was a bit more inactive on FA than usual, or that I don't post as much as I used to, but I wanted to explain a bit why if that feeling was active for some here.
So I've been having some existancial or artistic it dread when it comes to making tf art or posting it on Here or social media. And I felt like I needed to talk about it.
I felt like it seems like I'm being percieved as a Tf mouth piece, as in I'm mostly being interesting if I do tf or if I talk about tf stuff. It may be a perception, but that's what I may have noticed in the Tf circles, either in Discord servers or Twitter accounts or Talking.
What is worse for me is that This Tf account, Otherside, was made out of an accident or just because some people noticed some of the TF art that I did here, and back in 2017 I was not used to that sort of situation where people liked my stuff, or I didn't expect to be in the same shoes as the tf artists that I used to follow when I was a teenager. It wasn't something that I would've imagine being, but that feeling dwindled over time as I was used to drawing tf stuff.
The issue is that sometimes it felt to me that Drawing tf or, drawing stuff at all was like a Cover up over the fact that i may be not as interesting or maybe not as good of a friend or person as I may think of. Whenever I asked to friends if I'm a good person, they say "well yea, you're a good artist" and that put me in a dread. "Then If i'm not drawing then who am i?" I ask myself. It felt like I needed to give, give, give to make friends and I felt like I had to prove myself everytime when I'm in the tf fandom.
Then there's is the thing with doing demi TF, or Tf in general, the thing is that I can't just be in that tf brainrot because I needed to train my art skills beyond doing tf because the industry where I'm in is not just tf related, or not tf related at all. The breaking point of that issue is when I asked a friend about what they think about my art, and the yalso said that I seemed to be more dedicated to TF art than, none tf art, even after trying to balance both, and I felt like Everything I did was for nothing. I felt extremely anxious about it. And that's where i felt like I only let myself be identitief by JUST for my drawings and all.
Another Thing about being in tf spaces, because of some drama and issues that happened around me and a friend of mine, I had to Get out of some servers and unfriend a person on discord, It was here were I felt like I needed to rethink about Everything when it comes to being in the tf fandom. I had to considere maybe take a hiatus on my tf accounts or block some toxic people, but for now i'm going ok.
Another issue is the anxiety of being left behind or being tossed out when someone does similar art that I do and then be like alone or be like a "friend B" or the like. I had that when a tf art that I like also does Demi art or the likes, or be with other friends that I am also part of. I've been dealing with the anxiety of abondonent issues, I felt like being abandonded before. Or the worst feeling is when you feel like you're always going to be the black sheep of every group and no matter how hard you try you would always just be an afterthought to people, or that I'm taking the time that other friends would've taken to their other prefered group of people. I started to feel like this in the tf fandom for a while. And I've had to be in alert when I talk or interact to people. It alwasy feel like everything in the tf fandom or social media is a lie.
Some may say "don't be bother about it" or "Ignore it", but then I would just be alone, I may as well just delete Everything on FA, Twitter and Bluesky. but that's not something that I want to do.
I do like TF, and I will draw TF art as much as I have the time and energy, but also for now I have not that much free time as I used to. so it's a bit complicated. And the free Time that I have I have served for other Drawings.
So what does it mean for me and my FA account, I'm going to be fine don't worry for now, but I must say that I need to reboot or rethink how I treat my art or myself with it. Like what is the reason of posting it on FA or Social media. I will post art but the reasoning may be different. I don't know for now.
So I've been having some existancial or artistic it dread when it comes to making tf art or posting it on Here or social media. And I felt like I needed to talk about it.
I felt like it seems like I'm being percieved as a Tf mouth piece, as in I'm mostly being interesting if I do tf or if I talk about tf stuff. It may be a perception, but that's what I may have noticed in the Tf circles, either in Discord servers or Twitter accounts or Talking.
What is worse for me is that This Tf account, Otherside, was made out of an accident or just because some people noticed some of the TF art that I did here, and back in 2017 I was not used to that sort of situation where people liked my stuff, or I didn't expect to be in the same shoes as the tf artists that I used to follow when I was a teenager. It wasn't something that I would've imagine being, but that feeling dwindled over time as I was used to drawing tf stuff.
The issue is that sometimes it felt to me that Drawing tf or, drawing stuff at all was like a Cover up over the fact that i may be not as interesting or maybe not as good of a friend or person as I may think of. Whenever I asked to friends if I'm a good person, they say "well yea, you're a good artist" and that put me in a dread. "Then If i'm not drawing then who am i?" I ask myself. It felt like I needed to give, give, give to make friends and I felt like I had to prove myself everytime when I'm in the tf fandom.
Then there's is the thing with doing demi TF, or Tf in general, the thing is that I can't just be in that tf brainrot because I needed to train my art skills beyond doing tf because the industry where I'm in is not just tf related, or not tf related at all. The breaking point of that issue is when I asked a friend about what they think about my art, and the yalso said that I seemed to be more dedicated to TF art than, none tf art, even after trying to balance both, and I felt like Everything I did was for nothing. I felt extremely anxious about it. And that's where i felt like I only let myself be identitief by JUST for my drawings and all.
Another Thing about being in tf spaces, because of some drama and issues that happened around me and a friend of mine, I had to Get out of some servers and unfriend a person on discord, It was here were I felt like I needed to rethink about Everything when it comes to being in the tf fandom. I had to considere maybe take a hiatus on my tf accounts or block some toxic people, but for now i'm going ok.
Another issue is the anxiety of being left behind or being tossed out when someone does similar art that I do and then be like alone or be like a "friend B" or the like. I had that when a tf art that I like also does Demi art or the likes, or be with other friends that I am also part of. I've been dealing with the anxiety of abondonent issues, I felt like being abandonded before. Or the worst feeling is when you feel like you're always going to be the black sheep of every group and no matter how hard you try you would always just be an afterthought to people, or that I'm taking the time that other friends would've taken to their other prefered group of people. I started to feel like this in the tf fandom for a while. And I've had to be in alert when I talk or interact to people. It alwasy feel like everything in the tf fandom or social media is a lie.
Some may say "don't be bother about it" or "Ignore it", but then I would just be alone, I may as well just delete Everything on FA, Twitter and Bluesky. but that's not something that I want to do.
I do like TF, and I will draw TF art as much as I have the time and energy, but also for now I have not that much free time as I used to. so it's a bit complicated. And the free Time that I have I have served for other Drawings.
So what does it mean for me and my FA account, I'm going to be fine don't worry for now, but I must say that I need to reboot or rethink how I treat my art or myself with it. Like what is the reason of posting it on FA or Social media. I will post art but the reasoning may be different. I don't know for now.
and especially when it starts to feel like all you have to give. Grappling with those feelings a bit myself, lately
I hope taking a break is able to help you resolve a lot of this pain. and that you keep on showing off your art in the future, because I enjoy seeing it!
I think the most important thing is to remember that at the end of the day, unless someone is paying you to make specific art, you should draw what you enjoy and what you want to bring into the world to share or to keep to yourself.
I personally watched you because I like how you handle anatomy and shape language to communicate emotion as well as how you blend that anatomy in your tf and demi works, and I find it to be a blessing that you share your work.
Take time for yourself! Your only obligation here is yourself, and you're certainly not obligated to share or explain anything to us! You should be selfish when it comes to protecting your peace and happiness especially when your free time starts to dwindle. Take care of yourself <3
focus on YOURSELF first!
People forgetting that you are a person with wants and needs is a failure on their part. Not on you.
Take a break if you need to, but make the things that make You happy. You don't need to show anyone else.
Pressure to perform, and having styles compared against other artists is never a good feeling.
Do the art for yourself for a while. Don't worry about tags, labels, or a specific audience. You'll feel better after you find out what makes you happy with your own work. Sometimes we forget why we're doing something we used to enjoy.
Just take it easy.
... Yeah. In the TF world, like any other creative medium, you are gonna find folks that are downright obsessed when it comes to it. People feeling entitled. When they treat you like an art machine and not like someone with more nuance, do not sell yourself short in thinking you can do better. Deep down you know your self worth and it isn't because of your art output.
For what it's worth, I have been a fan of your work due to the expressions and interactions presented. Folks seem animated, couples shine, and there is this comfy vibe that is revealed. Same vibe shines through when it comes to a handful of chats I've had your way. You're a good cookie over there. It's not selfish to expect others to be just as kind. Take as long as you need to filter out these bad thoughts, man. We'll keep the light on for you.