This is going to be harder than I thought...

So I had my first therapy appointment today. I did a lot of research on my therapist beforehand to make sure she was the right fit for me. To make sure I wasn't going to be used for some case study I didn't consent to, or be fed religious nonsense, or be given pills I don't need and shoved out the door, or... worse. And it sounded like she is someone who would listen to me and try to understand my problems, and get to the root of my bad behaviors.

Do I still think that after my first session?

...Yes

But as usual, I tend to under-estimate things. And what I under-estimated was myself. I was 100% honest with her about all the things I've done, both recently, and in my past. And it took a toll on me. To say I got emotional would be an understatement. Frankly, I feel embarrassed for how I conducted myself during this session. Though my therapist was very reassuring that this was normal, and she had basically seen it all. She reassured me that she wasn't here to judge, and if I was here for help, she would help me.

So, the root my my problem. I am a habitual liar. But you all knew that. The question is why. Well, that will be explored deeper in future sessions, but the basics we explored were simply that people like me just aren't happy with their lives. I can definitely see that. And there's definitely going to be a lot to unpack on that subject, but I'll save that for next time.

I am emotionally drained and need to lie down...