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End of an Era, Maybe
a week ago
Good news - I managed to fix Skyrim and got several hours of happiness out of it.
Bad news - an update wrecked everything and now my characters are stuck T-posing no matter what I do.
The result is that my comfort game and the co-creator of tons of my previously-written work is apparently dead for good this time. I have tried reinstalling, deleting everything and starting from scratch and... nada. Everything I do seems to make it worse. I have put literally thousands of hours into Skyrim (somewhere over 8,000 at last count) and it's loss is surprisingly... okay... to me. As a result of not having had it to play, I have invested time into planting gardenias outside my son's window at the front of the house, cleaned out the overgrown garden spaces edging the back of the house and edged the front yard - almost a month after moving in. I found myself sitting on the porch yesterday in the ridiculously wonderful weather, just listening to the wind blowing through the trees for at least two hours.
Yes, it's painful to lose the mindspace that I had while playing the game. A lot of neat character concepts (including Rey'na) came from the time I spent playing. At some point down the road, I will absolutely go in and try to rebuild what once was, so I can enjoy that pleasant place once more. Will it work? Who knows? But I am okay with it being gone for the moment.
This house... The sense of ownership that comes with it. The beauty of it's surroundings and the amazing qualities of the house itself, now that it has been made into a "home" is... magical. I am okay with just sitting and enjoying. I am not fighting for that last scrap of dopamine as I look for something to keep me entertained.
To put it simply, I am at peace.
Thank you, Rusty and Mary Ann Herring, for having put so much effort into your own lives that you had everything you needed and more, so that your children could have enough to find their own places and peace. It is a gift that will keep on giving and I will forever be thankful.
Bad news - an update wrecked everything and now my characters are stuck T-posing no matter what I do.
The result is that my comfort game and the co-creator of tons of my previously-written work is apparently dead for good this time. I have tried reinstalling, deleting everything and starting from scratch and... nada. Everything I do seems to make it worse. I have put literally thousands of hours into Skyrim (somewhere over 8,000 at last count) and it's loss is surprisingly... okay... to me. As a result of not having had it to play, I have invested time into planting gardenias outside my son's window at the front of the house, cleaned out the overgrown garden spaces edging the back of the house and edged the front yard - almost a month after moving in. I found myself sitting on the porch yesterday in the ridiculously wonderful weather, just listening to the wind blowing through the trees for at least two hours.
Yes, it's painful to lose the mindspace that I had while playing the game. A lot of neat character concepts (including Rey'na) came from the time I spent playing. At some point down the road, I will absolutely go in and try to rebuild what once was, so I can enjoy that pleasant place once more. Will it work? Who knows? But I am okay with it being gone for the moment.
This house... The sense of ownership that comes with it. The beauty of it's surroundings and the amazing qualities of the house itself, now that it has been made into a "home" is... magical. I am okay with just sitting and enjoying. I am not fighting for that last scrap of dopamine as I look for something to keep me entertained.
To put it simply, I am at peace.
Thank you, Rusty and Mary Ann Herring, for having put so much effort into your own lives that you had everything you needed and more, so that your children could have enough to find their own places and peace. It is a gift that will keep on giving and I will forever be thankful.
Vix
I installed a porn mod, which showed me how shallow the game really is. It also entrapped me so badly I neglected my cat to death. My actual cat/friend died while I was ogling imaginary women.
There are better of stimulating one's mind, for sure.