Hey everyone.

I apologise for my sudden disappearance. I've been trying to pick up my life since having to leave home after being physically injured by my family.
I try not to let this eat me but in truth my whole existence comes from a really bad sperm donor ****ing my mother and using my existence for him to stay with her. Eventually my mother found my now true dad and later on had 4 more children. But I always stood out being the only child with Brown Hair, Brown Eyes and some strange anger issues that came from my sperm donor’s family's side.

For my mother she tried to love me but as I grew up I started to look more like him. Eventually my mother just couldn't handle me in her life and one night we had a small fight over me just needing to focus on my studies to her just...

I later found a way to move to Melbourne with high hopes for a better future. Though I first fell into the Black housing Market as I learnt quickly how something too good to be true was indeed just that.
During that Period my Boyfriend and I broke up and since May he's left my life and online all together it really hurts and I still cry from time to time. Knowing how everything went wrong was because he lived in an Anti LGBTQI+ country, so he couldn't hide our relationship forever and had to flee...

I later found a home using all the government support money I could access. Though this place isn't forever and I may be kicked out depending if my rental lease extension isn't approved by the 14th of February next year.

During June my health had declined so much I got Shingles due to a weakened immunity, as I receive government payments for mainly rent and bills and barely for food as our economy in Australia is a disaster.

Currently I now weigh 46kg and my height is 180cm, which is dangerously underweight.

I've tried everything to get support (Psychologist, Psychiatrist and a Dietaian) to help me back up on my feet, as I didn't want to vent about my life anymore as it made a lot of people uncomfortable causing many to leave me, and I admit I was being inconsiderate of others feelings. I've tried to search for work as well but due to having no certificate Qualifications, Volunteering and Work Experience. I've been constantly denied approval. I even tried to go back to fast food but considering my age; I'm just too old for the job.

I currently have Headspace and CoHealth services but unfortunately they have failed to provide what I need with many delays, cancelled opportunities, reasons why I can't get a support service and just today I was told by my Art Tharpist that I have been considered too severe for help. (I wish I was making this up)

So with no Job, no Support and My health is Declining. I reached out for Emergency services but was denied help as I need a Psychologist or to be in a closer life or death situation in the hospital bed to finally be heard.

I'm already weak enough as it is. I can't focus on my studies and have failed four classes. I can't run without needing to rest immediately, I collapse, I faint, My hands won't stop shaking, I get dehydrated, My insomnia is worsening, my eating disorder is getting worse where I just throw up from all the stress of it all and I can't even walk very far until I have to sit down that even means even on the floor.

I'm beyond humiliated, frightened and devastated where my life is. As recently my vision has begun to play up with blurs where I can't even see.

I don't know what to do. I've been told by a few of my friends to open a Gofundme to help my recovery in getting a Job, Medical Assistance and Food to help me gain weight.

Here’s the link: https://gofund.me/466b7858d

Please share this to anyone you know. I would really appreciate it.

I will keep you all updated as much as I can.

Update: Here's my Ko-Fi too

https://ko-fi.com/zerafon75116

- Zerafon