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Medical Update Wk10 & Project Updates ⚠️
5 months ago
General
This is going to cover a few things I want to go over. We'll touch on my health, as well as my long queue of projects/commissions. I want everyone to hold tight and continue to be patient. I'm afraid that this year has become a major turning point in my life. Frankly, I have never had such a medical event so significant that it affected my life for nearly a year (it started in March after all). Additionally, due to working from home, it was particularly difficult as I found myself with a lot of time to my thoughts. Let me share.
Medical Update
So things are going well I think! My leg/back still aches in the morning and sometimes can creep into the day but for the most part it's tolerable. Unless, of course, I need to do errands with the car where sitting and getting in/out of the vehicle puts great strain on the issue. Besides that, every day seems to be moving in the correct direction. The standing/sitting desk is working great and finding a stool that works for sitting without pain is a great plus.
Mental Update
I have been struggling. I won't lie. This has been a trial for me. I normally endure great stress with relative ease, such as producing two animations per month for over a year without missing a date, but this really takes the cake. I pretty much didn't/couldn't work most of August and September. I did what little I could to have SOMETHING. Suffice it to say, I have Patreon subscribers that expect content and not everyone reads these kinds of updates or don't care. Either way, my income has dropped. I have been making less than minimum to cover bills since September, hence why I tried to offer a commission to cover some. Tried to bring attention to my Patreon and Buck Club by providing a sale for new subscribers. Some success, but less than I was hoping for.
On top of that, trying to get back into work hasn't been easy. I still can't sit a whole day like normal to work. Even with the adjustable desk and good stool, too much static immobility causes symptoms to worsen. Usually revealing itself the next day. And I have so many things on my plate. Too much, I'm afraid. A bit of work paralysis consumes me. But I think what I need to do moving forward is to organize the work in a queue and just work on one thing at a time. Get it done, and move on.
With that being said, with those challenges often facing me, I get stuck. Mentally overwhelmed. Often facing money shortages, how I'm gonna pay people back, the queue of commissioners waiting (very) patiently for their art, Patreon and Buck club members expecting their monthly content, it's a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna shut down. My apartment gets cluttered and messy (I'm normally quite organized and neat) and it depresses me. It's... a lot.
The spiritual/personal section
Historically, I grew up Roman Catholic. But I fell out of religion before I even left high school. Probably on account of my dad passing away at the age of 16 making me feel like God just kind of sucks. I have been without religion since then for nearly 20 years. Still reciting prayer at weddings and the like I guess but merely out of respect???
Anyways, lately I have been seeking something. Like I mentioned, I work from home. Doing these animations is my only source of income and my only form of work. I don't have co-workers. I don't have a commute. I don't meet people at "functions". So during my month off in September, I started yearning at the idea of finding community of some sort. I almost considered going back to the church just for that. But then I started exploring the idea of Norse Paganism or Paganism in general. Not to start worshiping Odin and Thor and the like but rather to become closer or more mindful of nature, the seasons, phases of the moon and so forth. And there is a small sect of Pagans in my area that I could connect with. Maybe that can fulfill my need for community? I don't honestly know.
But why seeking religious community versus something else? I really don't know. I could just go to the arcade bar and hang out there long enough to form a friendship. But I honestly don't know what other types of "hobbies" involve large groups of which to mingle and maybe be friendly with. Ya know? I'm not much of a board gamer even though I've tried stepping into the game shop. I literally will go to the guitar center by me to bother the employees there as a means of hanging out with someone. They all know me by name lol. As an adult, I have forgotten how to make friends, idk. And I know I'm not alone. The world as it is doesn't cater to personal interactions anymore. And surprisingly enough, I'm not on social media. I don't do facebook or instagram or none of that nonsense.
I'm not even sure why I'm divulging this information. Maybe someone has ideas for me that I, or my friends, haven't thought of.
The Queue
I haven't forgotten anyone's comm. I WILL get to all of you. But I think moving forward, I need to buckle down and just get through what I got, in the order I got them in, regardless of whether or not it'll satisfy my Patreon/Buck Club subs. Obviously, animations will still go through the two month early access cycle and 4K video exclusivity but I'm too far behind to be making new animations to cover content release requirements. So with that being said, here's the immediate list, in order, below:
Tapdancing Trike - Concerto Model and advanced vore animation project involving Jax (with fur)
- Requires Concerto model to be finished, UVs, textures, rigging. Requires Jax to be covered in Fur and shirt/shorts. Requires an environment with grass and trees. Binoculars.
- Expect an update tomorrow on the model!
Project for Alex - TBD - will skip if project is not determined.
Malfaren AV YCH animations
- Moremlion, EchoTheHornyFox, CatzDaCat, and Elecpyro. All need fur to be made before they can be inserted into the YCH. The animation will likely need adjustment to manage the fur.
Model/Rig commission - Shiro
Model Raffle Commission - AztecTheWolf
Personal Projects
Two immediate projects I want to do are:
The Post Party - The Party
- This will be a large animation involving multiple YCH opportunities for background characters with the main action occurring in the basement with the large deer/elk pred and an otter sized prey.
Vore Game - Name to be determined
- This game has a LOT written down about it. Not much in the way of physical testing but I have discussed this at great length with close colleagues with a consensus that this will be unlike any other vore game. I don't want to hype this up too much but I do really want to get to this project sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, it will be later. This will at least give me time to find other talents to help me with the core mechanics of the game to get a viable demo up and running. If you know anyone who can program in Unreal Engine, please let me know! (it's going to be unreal engine due to free up front costs).
Final Thoughts
So... I didn't think my journal was going to be this long. (quick saves the text in case something catastrophic were to happen). I didn't think I was going to get into the personal stuff like I had. But I feel it's all interconnected with my state of being right now. If no one reads this, then I guess whatever. But I appreciate you if you've read through it all. I appreciate any replies, advice, suggestions, whatever. And to those who have been waiting patiently for their work, thank you for your patience. I haven't forgotten. I'm just slow right now. If you HAVE read this far, what is your favorite outdoors activity?
Thank you for your attention.
Cheers,
Spruce.
Medical Update
So things are going well I think! My leg/back still aches in the morning and sometimes can creep into the day but for the most part it's tolerable. Unless, of course, I need to do errands with the car where sitting and getting in/out of the vehicle puts great strain on the issue. Besides that, every day seems to be moving in the correct direction. The standing/sitting desk is working great and finding a stool that works for sitting without pain is a great plus.
Mental Update
I have been struggling. I won't lie. This has been a trial for me. I normally endure great stress with relative ease, such as producing two animations per month for over a year without missing a date, but this really takes the cake. I pretty much didn't/couldn't work most of August and September. I did what little I could to have SOMETHING. Suffice it to say, I have Patreon subscribers that expect content and not everyone reads these kinds of updates or don't care. Either way, my income has dropped. I have been making less than minimum to cover bills since September, hence why I tried to offer a commission to cover some. Tried to bring attention to my Patreon and Buck Club by providing a sale for new subscribers. Some success, but less than I was hoping for.
On top of that, trying to get back into work hasn't been easy. I still can't sit a whole day like normal to work. Even with the adjustable desk and good stool, too much static immobility causes symptoms to worsen. Usually revealing itself the next day. And I have so many things on my plate. Too much, I'm afraid. A bit of work paralysis consumes me. But I think what I need to do moving forward is to organize the work in a queue and just work on one thing at a time. Get it done, and move on.
With that being said, with those challenges often facing me, I get stuck. Mentally overwhelmed. Often facing money shortages, how I'm gonna pay people back, the queue of commissioners waiting (very) patiently for their art, Patreon and Buck club members expecting their monthly content, it's a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna shut down. My apartment gets cluttered and messy (I'm normally quite organized and neat) and it depresses me. It's... a lot.
The spiritual/personal section
Historically, I grew up Roman Catholic. But I fell out of religion before I even left high school. Probably on account of my dad passing away at the age of 16 making me feel like God just kind of sucks. I have been without religion since then for nearly 20 years. Still reciting prayer at weddings and the like I guess but merely out of respect???
Anyways, lately I have been seeking something. Like I mentioned, I work from home. Doing these animations is my only source of income and my only form of work. I don't have co-workers. I don't have a commute. I don't meet people at "functions". So during my month off in September, I started yearning at the idea of finding community of some sort. I almost considered going back to the church just for that. But then I started exploring the idea of Norse Paganism or Paganism in general. Not to start worshiping Odin and Thor and the like but rather to become closer or more mindful of nature, the seasons, phases of the moon and so forth. And there is a small sect of Pagans in my area that I could connect with. Maybe that can fulfill my need for community? I don't honestly know.
But why seeking religious community versus something else? I really don't know. I could just go to the arcade bar and hang out there long enough to form a friendship. But I honestly don't know what other types of "hobbies" involve large groups of which to mingle and maybe be friendly with. Ya know? I'm not much of a board gamer even though I've tried stepping into the game shop. I literally will go to the guitar center by me to bother the employees there as a means of hanging out with someone. They all know me by name lol. As an adult, I have forgotten how to make friends, idk. And I know I'm not alone. The world as it is doesn't cater to personal interactions anymore. And surprisingly enough, I'm not on social media. I don't do facebook or instagram or none of that nonsense.
I'm not even sure why I'm divulging this information. Maybe someone has ideas for me that I, or my friends, haven't thought of.
The Queue
I haven't forgotten anyone's comm. I WILL get to all of you. But I think moving forward, I need to buckle down and just get through what I got, in the order I got them in, regardless of whether or not it'll satisfy my Patreon/Buck Club subs. Obviously, animations will still go through the two month early access cycle and 4K video exclusivity but I'm too far behind to be making new animations to cover content release requirements. So with that being said, here's the immediate list, in order, below:
Tapdancing Trike - Concerto Model and advanced vore animation project involving Jax (with fur)
- Requires Concerto model to be finished, UVs, textures, rigging. Requires Jax to be covered in Fur and shirt/shorts. Requires an environment with grass and trees. Binoculars.
- Expect an update tomorrow on the model!
Project for Alex - TBD - will skip if project is not determined.
Malfaren AV YCH animations
- Moremlion, EchoTheHornyFox, CatzDaCat, and Elecpyro. All need fur to be made before they can be inserted into the YCH. The animation will likely need adjustment to manage the fur.
Model/Rig commission - Shiro
Model Raffle Commission - AztecTheWolf
Personal Projects
Two immediate projects I want to do are:
The Post Party - The Party
- This will be a large animation involving multiple YCH opportunities for background characters with the main action occurring in the basement with the large deer/elk pred and an otter sized prey.
Vore Game - Name to be determined
- This game has a LOT written down about it. Not much in the way of physical testing but I have discussed this at great length with close colleagues with a consensus that this will be unlike any other vore game. I don't want to hype this up too much but I do really want to get to this project sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, it will be later. This will at least give me time to find other talents to help me with the core mechanics of the game to get a viable demo up and running. If you know anyone who can program in Unreal Engine, please let me know! (it's going to be unreal engine due to free up front costs).
Final Thoughts
So... I didn't think my journal was going to be this long. (quick saves the text in case something catastrophic were to happen). I didn't think I was going to get into the personal stuff like I had. But I feel it's all interconnected with my state of being right now. If no one reads this, then I guess whatever. But I appreciate you if you've read through it all. I appreciate any replies, advice, suggestions, whatever. And to those who have been waiting patiently for their work, thank you for your patience. I haven't forgotten. I'm just slow right now. If you HAVE read this far, what is your favorite outdoors activity?
Thank you for your attention.
Cheers,
Spruce.
As for my favorite outdoor thing to do, probably just straight-up walking. Not full-on hiking, or jogging, or sprinting, but just walking around some area to get to know it or just to observe and reflect on my surroundings. Helps me clear my head or think through tough things, too.