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Quitting Stuff (for Fun and Profit)
a week ago
General
I announced it on Xitter already, but I’m happy to announce that I’m over a month sober from alcohol and weed! And I’m in the process of quitting caffeine. I don’t know why I’m announcing this, just want to open up I guess. Some thoughts and discoveries:
Alcohol – I was honestly never that bad an alcoholic, especially compared to some of my family who are into much harder stuff. I was a weekend warrior more than a ‘can’t get through the day without a drink’ guy, but in hindsight I’ve been problem drinking since I started at 20. I used it as an escape from the word go and that’s just no good. I’m sure it contributed to a lot of squandered relationships and opportunities over the years and I’ll just have to live with that.
For the last few years I tried the whole “Well I’ll just drink less.” But then I’d end up rubber-banding and drinking more after a few weeks. I’m just so sick of the cycle. That’s a theme with all these addictions. Thurs/Fri: Go out and get a pint or two of something hard (more on the worst weekends) -> Sat/Sunday wake up sick and miserable → Drag myself through the week looking forward to drinking again → Repeat. It’s all so tiresome.
Weed – I just don’t like it. I have lung issues so I’m only able to ingest it and I hate that it zonks you out for hours and hours at a time. I'd literally get tired of being high after a week or two of that. And like with any substance that gives you happy chemicals you hit diminishing returns and need more and more to get there. People staunchly insist you can’t get addicted to weed, some of you are probably grimacing right now, but that’s silly. Anyone can get addicted to anything that chemically makes you feel good. Case in point me and a zillion burnout potheads out there.
I’m not saying that you or even most THC users are addicted, but I think we all know someone who constantly zonks out to the point of barely being a functional person. Whether you want to call that addiction or not it’s clearly not ideal. And I don’t want to slip further into being that guy.
Caffeine – I never thought I'd be saying that I'm quitting the caff but truth be told I’ve been waking up at three or four AM for like six years and I am so, so sick of it. I balance it by going to bed at like nine, but no matter what I do I can’t seem to sleep later than that. Reading, meditation, exercise, supplements, weed. Then I read that one of the first things that happens when you quit caffeine is (you go through withdrawal ugh) but you also sleep like the dead. And I want that so bad. If I could sleep until even five on the regular I’d be jazzed.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that my anxiety will get bodied by removing the chemical that makes you hyped up and jittery. It’s funny my caffeine habits haven’t really changed for my adult life. I’d have a small black coffee in the morning, maybe a tea with lunch, and a small coffee/tea after work. So I figured “Well coffee can’t be giving me anxiety, I’ve always had it and I was fine for a long time!” But you know your body changes, your mind changes, gets older. Maybe caffeine isn’t good for me anymore? I’m more than happy to suffer the withdrawal to find out.
I am easing off though so I’m not a rage-zombie for a week or two. I had already switched from a french press to a double espresso in the AM and made the lunch tea into a green which is surely less caffeine than before. Once I run out of the coffee I bought before this decision the fun will begin. I may not quit 100% but I want to break the habit and I'm probably done with coffee. If I have a long drive or something I'll go for a green tea. So far I’ve been feeling good aside from some headaches and moodiness. More mellow in a good way. More focused too. I can’t wait to finish the coffee I have and really get clear of it.
Things are good. I’m not out of the woods of course. I’ll have to be vigilant, but I’m feeling more hopeful now than I have in a long time. Once I get past the caffeine headaches I think I’ll be in a really good place. Cutting out addictions doesn’t instantly fix your life, but I feel like I can accurately assess my problems now that I’m seeing through a glass clearly for the first time in a decade or two.
See you around ~
Alcohol – I was honestly never that bad an alcoholic, especially compared to some of my family who are into much harder stuff. I was a weekend warrior more than a ‘can’t get through the day without a drink’ guy, but in hindsight I’ve been problem drinking since I started at 20. I used it as an escape from the word go and that’s just no good. I’m sure it contributed to a lot of squandered relationships and opportunities over the years and I’ll just have to live with that.
For the last few years I tried the whole “Well I’ll just drink less.” But then I’d end up rubber-banding and drinking more after a few weeks. I’m just so sick of the cycle. That’s a theme with all these addictions. Thurs/Fri: Go out and get a pint or two of something hard (more on the worst weekends) -> Sat/Sunday wake up sick and miserable → Drag myself through the week looking forward to drinking again → Repeat. It’s all so tiresome.
Weed – I just don’t like it. I have lung issues so I’m only able to ingest it and I hate that it zonks you out for hours and hours at a time. I'd literally get tired of being high after a week or two of that. And like with any substance that gives you happy chemicals you hit diminishing returns and need more and more to get there. People staunchly insist you can’t get addicted to weed, some of you are probably grimacing right now, but that’s silly. Anyone can get addicted to anything that chemically makes you feel good. Case in point me and a zillion burnout potheads out there.
I’m not saying that you or even most THC users are addicted, but I think we all know someone who constantly zonks out to the point of barely being a functional person. Whether you want to call that addiction or not it’s clearly not ideal. And I don’t want to slip further into being that guy.
Caffeine – I never thought I'd be saying that I'm quitting the caff but truth be told I’ve been waking up at three or four AM for like six years and I am so, so sick of it. I balance it by going to bed at like nine, but no matter what I do I can’t seem to sleep later than that. Reading, meditation, exercise, supplements, weed. Then I read that one of the first things that happens when you quit caffeine is (you go through withdrawal ugh) but you also sleep like the dead. And I want that so bad. If I could sleep until even five on the regular I’d be jazzed.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that my anxiety will get bodied by removing the chemical that makes you hyped up and jittery. It’s funny my caffeine habits haven’t really changed for my adult life. I’d have a small black coffee in the morning, maybe a tea with lunch, and a small coffee/tea after work. So I figured “Well coffee can’t be giving me anxiety, I’ve always had it and I was fine for a long time!” But you know your body changes, your mind changes, gets older. Maybe caffeine isn’t good for me anymore? I’m more than happy to suffer the withdrawal to find out.
I am easing off though so I’m not a rage-zombie for a week or two. I had already switched from a french press to a double espresso in the AM and made the lunch tea into a green which is surely less caffeine than before. Once I run out of the coffee I bought before this decision the fun will begin. I may not quit 100% but I want to break the habit and I'm probably done with coffee. If I have a long drive or something I'll go for a green tea. So far I’ve been feeling good aside from some headaches and moodiness. More mellow in a good way. More focused too. I can’t wait to finish the coffee I have and really get clear of it.
Things are good. I’m not out of the woods of course. I’ll have to be vigilant, but I’m feeling more hopeful now than I have in a long time. Once I get past the caffeine headaches I think I’ll be in a really good place. Cutting out addictions doesn’t instantly fix your life, but I feel like I can accurately assess my problems now that I’m seeing through a glass clearly for the first time in a decade or two.
See you around ~
I’m not a fan of coffee either—fast heart rate, sleepiness, and dizziness just 30 minutes after a sip. Now, green tea and black tea are my go-tos.
Changing lifestyles is never easy so any amount of success at such goals is a major feather in your cap.
Wish you the best with the rest of your endeavor
Weed was easy to quit because it made me have so much bad trips, anxiety and paranoiac episodes, and good weed where I lived was quite hard to find. We often smoked moroccan hashish and this shit often made me zombie and a little sick.
Smoke was easy to quite because I only smoked when I drank (mostly on weekend, on a daily basis at some period).
The hardest was stoppting alternation between alcohol and relaxing pill ... I became dependant of Myolastan because every following day after alcohol, I had anguishes crisis from hypoglycemia. Something I won't wish even for to my worst enemy.
Now i'm fond of black tea ! :3 could easily abuse because it just stress me enough, and nothing more.
So, congratulation. Hold on and stay strong ! *hugs*
Wishing you the best and good luck with the caffeine habit.
Can't wait to see a post from you months from now about your feeling amazing, let's hope!