Well I have to the conclusion of the decision of should I upload the art i've gotten or not do so do the fear of something. I want to explain the fear I have that lead to me asking other's to get an idea of where it goes. So i've asked friends around servers and people within server communities that i'm in server wise and got pretty much the same as the last journal that lead to the question. I get it that it is entirely my decision alone on that so yeah I get it.

But to understand the question i'll explain the fear: The fear I have is that even when I upload my art as I really want too, the thing is I've seen three of my friends that I enjoy being around with. They got their OC's literally impersonated or rather the true word "stolen" from themselves. Now they were able to stop, report, and get rid of them off the internet where they did it. So you maybe thinking "What does this have to do with my fear?" this is part of that, I don't want anyone to impersonate me, change my fursona to where she is not meant to be. Like making Xegrashi a switch when she's a apex predator for being a dragon, then having a change to her three abilities while having a weapon that isn't really her choice. Etc, etc, yada yada yada.

Now add of all that was just said and let the nightmare begin: ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNEW AS FRIENDS turn their backs on me, I explained countless times to them that I was the real Xegrashi. That was a impersonator and none but a few truely believe me. It tore me apart, I was devastated by this, torn asunder, chewed out, ripped apart. Just... My entire being felt like someone dropped me down a cliff and I broke into a million pieces of glass at the bottom, ever so slowly pulling myself back together from the initial shock. The nightmare dream continued to where I went into a voice chat on discord and stayed in there alone for like three hours before someone joined me, I was silent just sitting in the vc then a few more joined. Someone spoke towards me and asked "Xeg... Is everything okay with you? What happened?" the response I gave back was the sound of someone lost everything about themselves and I just remember saying while in that broken tone "Why am I even here?" and when I woke up from this nightmare I was in cold shiver even though I had an AC on because I like having a cold room. That cold shiver wasn't from the AC being on, because it went up my spine and I sat on my bed for thirty seconds before heading for work.

This is the fear I had in the form of a nightmare that came true within the dream. Granted it won't become a reality. So with that comes the decision.... I'll upload my art but i'll say in like a closing line that says "The purple dragoness known as Xegrashi belongs to me. Do not use this character unless contacted by me" or something along those lines as a safety net for myself. It won't lead up to those words exactly but i'll have something for it. With that said i'll be searching for artist's that have done art of my fursona and while i'm at it. I won't start posting until after New Years it'll be like 4 art uploaded a day or so until i'm caught up.

Thank you for understanding everyone, Merry Christmas and Let the new Year begin when it lands!