it always feels like i'm unable to have meaningful relationships with people and that i'm constantly pushing away people close to me, whether they be acquaintances, online friends, my partners, or even my family. it doesn't help that it seems like the state i live in and the corporations i use are openly being a menace to anything worthwhile. i deleted my discord last night and cried myself to sleep knowing that i would likely never hear from my partners ever again. it doesn't help that i'm basically stuck in my house day in and day out, unable to really go anywhere on my own. i constantly feel like an asocial failure. i don't know how much longer i can keep going