I am not back in anyway shape or form. but i've gotten a bunch of notes and comments overall concerned about me, mentally I can't respond to them all, i'm mentally exhausted even writing this journal... but i just wanted to let everyone know I am still alive and I really do appreciate the comments of concern. but not planning on dying. i think i'm too spiteful for that right now. as dying would mean that the other side wins. and I refuse to let that happen right now.

I just need time. and even then I'm not sure if I'll be back...but i know I need time.

mentally the last few days has just been my entire body feeling wrong. empty. my entire body feels exhausted, my brain feels fuzzy and heavy and i'm just existing. but not really there? i don't really know.
I've had a good amount of help from as they have been with me for the last few days. talking or hanging out to try and change my mind from everything.

so right now. I just need time...not sure how much time. but just time is needed.