So, MAGfest is over. It was insane, amazing, awesome, and just makes me really proud to be a part of something that brings so many people together for such a good time.

For about a week after the event I was still on a buzz and cranking away on things like I had purpose! It was wonderful. Unfortunately, now I'm back in my home, working from my bedroom, and there's no insanity surrounding me but my own! This is a problem. I feed off of the crazyness of things like MAGfest and it gets me moving, but left to my own devices I stagnate and go idle and just stare at things all day.

To complicate things I have a hard time prioritizing things that I need to do for myself to help me work, and things that I need to work on. I'm still in a huge financial bind, and I need need NEED to be cranking at 150% CONSTANTLY in order to have any hopes of pulling myself out before something really bad happens. On the other hand, I don't focus well, and there are certain things that help, such as cleaning the house and going to the gym, but these things take time away from work time, and since I'm really behind on work, since I've been slacking, I feel like I should do some work first and come back to that later as a reward.

As a result of this conflict, I end up being torn in the middle and doing nothing.

Summary: Slack off -> think about doing things to help me focus on work -> worry that since I've been slacking I should just do some work first -> get indecisive and end up slacking off -> etc

I know that I should just take care of myself, first. It's only a few hours here and there, and there are so many more hours that are at stake if I don't get my brain under control. So, I'm going to go to the gym right now, then come home and clean up my room/office, and then get some work done.

I thrive in chaotic situations, but in absence of sufficient insanity I need to remember that I NEED some kind of consistent exertion in order to keep myself above water.