Dear  wolfspit:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but the Mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I changed my tennis shoes with George W Bush and his Wife and I saw you carve your initials into the Crazy Monk. I'm sure you're Mongolic enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of our friendship.

With ease,

Steven