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An Excerpt From The Journal Of Doug Funnie
15 years ago
No, seriously though, that's bullshit. It's just me. Doug is off with Skeeter trying to set Mr. Dink's taint hair on fire.
A couple things. First and foremost, "Don't Drive Distracted" is an acceptable enough saying. That being said, if you really believe in the message, it ought not to be put on a bumper sticker.
Though Boylan Bottleworks is neither well-known nor widely accepted as a thing that exists in reality, they still manage to win at life. I was very confused by this until I finished my creme soda and noticed a small word near the bottom of the bottle. The word is "Kosher". I don't know anyone who drinks Boylan products, and I also don't know any Jews. So... in a period of relative obscurity brought on by the ruthless cutthroat regime of high-fructose corn syrup and companies such as Pepsi and Coca-Cola, the Hebrew people have been keeping a truly quality beverage company afloat one bottle at a time, with their little bags of Jew gold they keep around their necks. I take back, say, ten percent of the things I used to say about them.
Skog clean things now. Drink Boylan.
A couple things. First and foremost, "Don't Drive Distracted" is an acceptable enough saying. That being said, if you really believe in the message, it ought not to be put on a bumper sticker.
Though Boylan Bottleworks is neither well-known nor widely accepted as a thing that exists in reality, they still manage to win at life. I was very confused by this until I finished my creme soda and noticed a small word near the bottom of the bottle. The word is "Kosher". I don't know anyone who drinks Boylan products, and I also don't know any Jews. So... in a period of relative obscurity brought on by the ruthless cutthroat regime of high-fructose corn syrup and companies such as Pepsi and Coca-Cola, the Hebrew people have been keeping a truly quality beverage company afloat one bottle at a time, with their little bags of Jew gold they keep around their necks. I take back, say, ten percent of the things I used to say about them.
Skog clean things now. Drink Boylan.
