It's nice to be productive and keep myself busy, but I keep getting wrapped up in nonsense and while it amuses me to almost no end, I have to pull myself away from the BULLSHIT (no further details), I get caught up in, before I get completely sidetracked with this make believe world and get spellbound by it. I see so many people occupying some sort of a supplemental second life (not talking MMORPGs, excuse the pun please!), and they don't even focus on what's really going on anymore! They are living in a fantasy zone (another game pun, oops!), and it shocks me, because I've been there before myself and while it's fun to stop by and visit, it's NO GOOD TO MOVE ON IN AND JOIN THE CARNIVAL OF LOST SOULS! I get no joy from most of my old past-times, which now to me seem more like a waste of time. What exactly made me feel so warm and content, I wondered? I was so cozy with my friends ignorance and bliss I didn't care about the who, what, when, where and how! MY BLISS ENDS!

I don't know what complete satisfaction would feel like for me now at this moment in time, because my priorities have now changed and my life is about make a drastic change. I'm heading in a new direction and my sense of self awareness is now my one of my top priorities.

am i writing again...? FICTION ANYONE?