Today marks the beginning of my own despair as I face the reality I do not want to accept. Today, a news of a girl I loved for so long getting married to another guy she loves, channels through even the dustiest ear hole of mine into the centre of my brain. The feeling trembled like thunder through my chest shredding my heart to pieces and eyes shed so much tears like a rain storm.

I thought I have gotten over her and everyday I always never had a thought about her but why did that news struck me alot? Why did it hurt me? My parents keep on talking about the marriage during lunch and in my head I keep telling them "Stop!! Stop telling us this!!" And when finally finished lunch, I rushed to my room and explode my anguish and sad feelings in my own room. Yea I know I shouldn't do that but it's better than in dining room right?

The dream of wanting to be with her is finally over. But I still want to cherish the dream because I felt I developed so much and had a few creations based on that and don't want to lose that moment of feeling of love. I know it's foolish to think that and should move on, but there are certain elements I cannot let go.

Well, I'll so how it goes. If I can't live with those memories with me, then I will banish if forever, along with my childhood dreams, memories, everything of what makes me whole.