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FUCK and Acceptance.
15 years ago
My painting of space didn't get into the student show at my university.
Man. This bugs the shit out of me. It doesn't matter how inspired I am or how hard I try. The shit I like, or the things I'm proud of just doesn't make it. In 5 years, I have entered things to the gallery 4 times. I always make elaborate plans for things I want to do, ideas and concepts I find fascinating and imaginitive. And which, out of all of them, gets into the show? My first oil painting two years ago, a still life of a pillow and a fucking gatoraid bottle. You can see that shit ANYWHERE.
It doesn't help that I have never felt I had any place whatsoever in society. This is like icing on the cake. Three professional art judges don't feel my work belongs in galleries, so long as it's work I actually have any feelings for at all. I'm beginning to feel I want to distance myself from social life even more, because the world around me seems... Alien. I just don't understand it. Although I don't know how I could possibly distance myself from society any more, considering I live in a woods. I avoid facebook and loathe myspace. I don't go to concerts or social events, and just when I think I'd like to, something like this comes along and pushes me even further away.
I don't know if being a furry makes things worse or not. I seem to fit less in mainstream society, but furry itself is like a subculture...
Man. This bugs the shit out of me. It doesn't matter how inspired I am or how hard I try. The shit I like, or the things I'm proud of just doesn't make it. In 5 years, I have entered things to the gallery 4 times. I always make elaborate plans for things I want to do, ideas and concepts I find fascinating and imaginitive. And which, out of all of them, gets into the show? My first oil painting two years ago, a still life of a pillow and a fucking gatoraid bottle. You can see that shit ANYWHERE.
It doesn't help that I have never felt I had any place whatsoever in society. This is like icing on the cake. Three professional art judges don't feel my work belongs in galleries, so long as it's work I actually have any feelings for at all. I'm beginning to feel I want to distance myself from social life even more, because the world around me seems... Alien. I just don't understand it. Although I don't know how I could possibly distance myself from society any more, considering I live in a woods. I avoid facebook and loathe myspace. I don't go to concerts or social events, and just when I think I'd like to, something like this comes along and pushes me even further away.
I don't know if being a furry makes things worse or not. I seem to fit less in mainstream society, but furry itself is like a subculture...
I don't post my still lifes and so on here because I don't feel if the people choosing didn't like them no one would.
Some people in my painting class say my drawing skills belittle my painting skills anyway. I dunno bout that.
Of course... seventy two 'yes's work well too... but you can't decide how the world responds to you-- only how you respond to the world.
Don't give up because every 'no' brings you closer to a 'yes'.
If you enjoy painting/drawing/sketching/art-ing then don't give up. If that's what you like to do, work on improving. Maybe you're submitting work to the wrong crowd. Maybe you just haven't found the happy medium between what you like and other's appreciate. If/when you become a professional creator (artist, writer, producer, script-writer, singer) there is a balance between what you like and what "sells". Find that balance so you don't have to sell-out to succeed and you don't have to scrape by to keep who you are consistent.
I god sick and tired of the 'teacher' taking it as an attempt to teach us all how to paint like Picasso/Gaudi/insert-artist-name-of-choice. There was utterly 0 focus on developing personal skills, individuality, any of that stuff. In her eyes, if you didn't paint/draw in a recognised style, then it wasn't art. And it sounds like the same crap from these guys too.
The sad fact is that we live in a world where paintings like yours are ignored, while an unmade bed or a single black dot drawn in one corner of a plain white canvas are idolised and earn their 'artists' millions.
I've often wondered about becoming a Modern Artist, seems a piss easy way to get rich =P
My teachers have been good about people having a personal style. They encourage it for the most part, especially my painting teacher. I don't know what the deal with the judge is, but it wasn't just one judge. My shit never gets in. I'm going to take this one to any other gallery I can find and see if they'll display it though.
...then again, Einstein did define insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results, so maybe the art world is just mostly insane. This might be consoling to consider.