Now-a-days we live in a world of disinformation where everyone has the mentality of "Are you one of us or one of them?". I was only born into a world of illusion knowing only my own existence, and even that now I put into question. It gets so frustrating anymore. The only thing I can do now is to try to quiet my mind and perhaps something will come to me in my attempt of effortlessness and silence. I may as well be silent since I have to respect the sovereignty and privacy of everyones lives i am somehow part of. In this I am unable to tell people what is wrong when they notice I do not have a smile on my face. All the goofy **** I do anymore is either a distraction from my own misery or an attempt to make myself more palatable to the ones I love and care for. I just don't know what to do anymore. Anymore.....I feel helpless.....