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Fandom... better forgotten
15 years ago
I was talking to a friend about random facts of life. The fact that I was a furry got brought up and I was shocked with my answer. I've been a fur since I was 12 and really before then I was curious about furries but didn't have a name for them. I only knew one other fur and that was my big brother Atma. As time went on I invested in a tail and wore it with pride every day and every where I went. I wasn't shy and I didn't mind the strange looks.
I was ignorant in my own bliss. I had no idea about the fandom. I didn't know there were conventions around the US and people that made costume for 1000's of dollars. But I didn't need all that. I had myself and that was enough. When I moved to GA two years ago Atma took me to FWA and I was blown away. For once I didn't have to pretend to fit in. Finally a group of people that knew exactly what I was and I didn't have to defined or explain myself. It was great!
But like with everything else in the world; beauty fades. A year later and the drama that is the furry fandom tore me apart. Trying to keep up with everyones life and try to stay friends with everyone didn't make it any easier. People were letting the silliest things make them act like grade school students. I'm ashamed to say I got sucked in for a while. I attended a few cons and once I knew enough about the fandom and it's participators I quickly ran. I works on a normal mundane life; work, school and a non fur boy friend.
After a while things got better. I wasn't crying or stressing or trying to make friends and keep them. I felt like I could breath again. Now when I see furs come into my work I look at the tails and then walk away. I know that I am 100% fur but I no longer want to be a part of it. I feel torn in two because I no longer want to be connected to the GA fandom. I wish I was back in West Palm where I was the only one walking the down town streets with a tail and laughing with my friends because they will never quite get it. That odd individuality and strong sense of myself. I miss things how they use to be. Where I didn't have fur friends and all the bad times they brought with.
*sign* In other news I'll be returning to South Florida after my school term.
I was ignorant in my own bliss. I had no idea about the fandom. I didn't know there were conventions around the US and people that made costume for 1000's of dollars. But I didn't need all that. I had myself and that was enough. When I moved to GA two years ago Atma took me to FWA and I was blown away. For once I didn't have to pretend to fit in. Finally a group of people that knew exactly what I was and I didn't have to defined or explain myself. It was great!
But like with everything else in the world; beauty fades. A year later and the drama that is the furry fandom tore me apart. Trying to keep up with everyones life and try to stay friends with everyone didn't make it any easier. People were letting the silliest things make them act like grade school students. I'm ashamed to say I got sucked in for a while. I attended a few cons and once I knew enough about the fandom and it's participators I quickly ran. I works on a normal mundane life; work, school and a non fur boy friend.
After a while things got better. I wasn't crying or stressing or trying to make friends and keep them. I felt like I could breath again. Now when I see furs come into my work I look at the tails and then walk away. I know that I am 100% fur but I no longer want to be a part of it. I feel torn in two because I no longer want to be connected to the GA fandom. I wish I was back in West Palm where I was the only one walking the down town streets with a tail and laughing with my friends because they will never quite get it. That odd individuality and strong sense of myself. I miss things how they use to be. Where I didn't have fur friends and all the bad times they brought with.
*sign* In other news I'll be returning to South Florida after my school term.
One thing to remember is, people change, and not always for the better. And if it turns for the worse, you won't always be able to save them from themselves. When that happens, it's better to distance yourself from them than to let them drag you down. Just remember, keep your chin up and if life gets you down, strive to make it better. It's really all we can do.
One of the mods on here had an awesome write up on this after is ICON report here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1301623/ It's a good read and, while it's nothing truly groundbreaking, it brings a lot of things into perspective that quite a few of us forget.
I understand your reasons, but I'm still sad to see you go.