...Bootz  bootstrap has made it very clear...we're through...he doesn't think i can handle being just friends...so he cut contact...

I can handle being friends, it's just that i don't want to be friends, i want him back. So yes, i can't handle it exactly, because it's not a choice i would freely pick, it was the only option he left me after he decided to leave me behind. But why should i want to be with him now? because like i've been telling him all along, i love him, even though he's the biggest a%$hole i know.

That being said...i feel empty now...cold and numb...he wanted a friend to be there for him, but not interfere...well he created me...he turned a golden, pure hearted person...into a monster of malice and hatred...if he thought i was a monster before...i'm definately one now...

all i want out of life is someone to spend it with...someone who is happy with only me...is that so hard to ask for?...apparently it is, because everyone i fall for has turned out to be a worthless prick...so i'm closing my heart to the world...embracing the darkness...and setting out on the lonely path...never to love or be loved ever again...