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Lulz guaranteed, the sequel
15 years ago
General
This is essentially a continuation of an earlier journal;
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1317763/
Basically, it's the results of three more Mad Libs games with my folks --- they'll make you laugh you @$$ off, or your money back*!
(*: Note how I didn't pay you anything to read this XD)
A Visit With Santa at the North Pole
Santa Claus lives a very reciprocating life. He lives at the north pole surrounded by snow and clouds. He is married to Monica Claus and instead of children, they have ravenous little elves. This way, Santa can get help in his workshop for only 0 cents an hour. The elves work 11 months a year making knickknacks and black & white TVs for Santa to give children on Christmas. On Christmas Eve, the elves load up Santa's skateboard with the empty presents. Then Santa hitches it to his team of Squirrels and goes sailing through the sky. When he sees a child's house, he lands on the ceiling and slides down the chimney, landing on the Gila Monster. Then he puts the presents into the panties that the children have hung over the mantelpiece. After he does this 12 times, he goes home to get ready for Valentine's Day.
Camping Trip
A group of us were sitting around a raging mudslide one night, roasting forklifts and telling elusive stories when we heard a horny noise coming right from the fire. We jumped up and saw an erroneous light floating toward us. It looked like a disembodied compact car, and we all had to cover our upper lips, because it was so necessary. The weird figure vomited above the flames until the fire went out, leaving us in total dangerousness. Then, as quickly as it had arrived, the petty apparition drifted away and --- aha and behold --- the fire was raging again. In addition, all our smelly food had disappeared. Nobody believed this story when we got home, but we decided that whatever the campy thing was, it didn't want us to eat our bloody marshmallows.
The Farm
I spent last summer on my grandfather's condemned farm. He raises oats, wheat, and tornadoes. Grandfather also grows lettuce, corn, and lima chainsaws. My favorite place to strangle on the farm is the tube house where Grandfather keeps his pulsating Chickens. Every day, each hen lays smooth, round potted plants. Grandfather sells most of them, but keeps some so the hens can annoy on them and hatch cute, fuzzy little rats. I'm looking forward to next year, when Grandfather is going to show me how to drive his waffle iron, sow the cigarette butts, and melt the cow.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1317763/
Basically, it's the results of three more Mad Libs games with my folks --- they'll make you laugh you @$$ off, or your money back*!
(*: Note how I didn't pay you anything to read this XD)
A Visit With Santa at the North Pole
Santa Claus lives a very reciprocating life. He lives at the north pole surrounded by snow and clouds. He is married to Monica Claus and instead of children, they have ravenous little elves. This way, Santa can get help in his workshop for only 0 cents an hour. The elves work 11 months a year making knickknacks and black & white TVs for Santa to give children on Christmas. On Christmas Eve, the elves load up Santa's skateboard with the empty presents. Then Santa hitches it to his team of Squirrels and goes sailing through the sky. When he sees a child's house, he lands on the ceiling and slides down the chimney, landing on the Gila Monster. Then he puts the presents into the panties that the children have hung over the mantelpiece. After he does this 12 times, he goes home to get ready for Valentine's Day.
Camping Trip
A group of us were sitting around a raging mudslide one night, roasting forklifts and telling elusive stories when we heard a horny noise coming right from the fire. We jumped up and saw an erroneous light floating toward us. It looked like a disembodied compact car, and we all had to cover our upper lips, because it was so necessary. The weird figure vomited above the flames until the fire went out, leaving us in total dangerousness. Then, as quickly as it had arrived, the petty apparition drifted away and --- aha and behold --- the fire was raging again. In addition, all our smelly food had disappeared. Nobody believed this story when we got home, but we decided that whatever the campy thing was, it didn't want us to eat our bloody marshmallows.
The Farm
I spent last summer on my grandfather's condemned farm. He raises oats, wheat, and tornadoes. Grandfather also grows lettuce, corn, and lima chainsaws. My favorite place to strangle on the farm is the tube house where Grandfather keeps his pulsating Chickens. Every day, each hen lays smooth, round potted plants. Grandfather sells most of them, but keeps some so the hens can annoy on them and hatch cute, fuzzy little rats. I'm looking forward to next year, when Grandfather is going to show me how to drive his waffle iron, sow the cigarette butts, and melt the cow.
DireWolf505
~direwolf505
Nice, nice, nice.
Blacktail_F-A
~blacktailf-a
OP
XD
DireWolf505
~direwolf505
I need to learn how to drive a waffle iron. Ours is a stick, too.
