Yesterday, after a lot of drinking and rising tension, my father lost it and started yelling at my step-mother. I was ready to let another argument go by, before he got violent with her. This has never happened before. I stepped in, dealt with him, threatened him untill he left.

I talked to him today when he was sober, told him to get himself together, drop the alchohol or lose me. That seemed to get through to him. But its a bit late. The way I've looked at him has changed. Despite all his past flaws, I held him in quite high esteem. But now? I feel ashamed to be related to him.

And the fact I was ready to take a knife to my own father to protect my stepmom... thats shaken me up even more. dont know what to think of myself, let alone him.

Perceptions change for everything.