Well I have to leave in about 45 minutes, and aside from pulling my hair up, and the horrible shaking I guess I am ready. I just realized it take a horribly cruel person to start a fight with you before you leave. I probably wouldn't be quite this jumpy if he would lay off of me. I am well aware that everything I do is wrong, and I will fuck this up somehow. I really don't need the constant, nagging, yelling reminder really.

Ok so my nerves are shot. I can admit that. If I can get them to hold out for this I will have about 17 days till I start another process into motion that is going to be rough. Why do I have to pile stress? I just don't get that.

*Sigh* I am screwing up somewhere in this and I know it.

Well 35 minutes remaining...better get started pulling my hair up. If I do not return by this evening then I lost it, and got myself a handcuffs experience I just might not be able to enjoy.