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DA and FA
15 years ago
I have experienced some of the rudest people I've ever encountered on this site and DA. I treat people with respect and dignity and people decide to talk to me disrespectfully and for no reason. I haven't done anything to deserve this treatment and frankly, I'm sick of it!!! I try not to let it bother me but it does and I don't have to tolerate it. There are people that joke around with me and I joke around with them and we all know we're just having fun and that's fine with me. It's those people (trolls and sometimes it's artists and people that think they're superior to others and believe that they have the right to be disrespectful to anyone and everyone around them) that are blatantly rude and mean to me that I'm writing this about. So I'm going to say this:
If I am treated disrespectfully, rudely in a way that I feel is not a joke or in a way that is very aggrevating or annoying ONE MORE TIME I'll leave both sites forever whether I'm finished with my workload or not. There have been so many wonderful people that have made this site and DA wonderful places to be and it pains me to think of not being able to laugh and talk with those people especially when I need to make a really witty comment about something but I refuse to sacrifice my dignity any longer. I truly hope that it doesn't come to that though. I'm already planning on leaving this site anyway but I don't want to have to leave earlier than I'd planned.
If I am treated disrespectfully, rudely in a way that I feel is not a joke or in a way that is very aggrevating or annoying ONE MORE TIME I'll leave both sites forever whether I'm finished with my workload or not. There have been so many wonderful people that have made this site and DA wonderful places to be and it pains me to think of not being able to laugh and talk with those people especially when I need to make a really witty comment about something but I refuse to sacrifice my dignity any longer. I truly hope that it doesn't come to that though. I'm already planning on leaving this site anyway but I don't want to have to leave earlier than I'd planned.
I've dealt with the nasty people here and there, too, but, truthfully, I can ignore it. I don't have to see these people everyday. I don't work with them, I don't have to deal with them if I don't want to and so, I don't. You can ignore them and you can, too. A bully only has power if you give it up to them.
This is like a man and woman with children and the man constantly degrades, insults and belittles the woman and for no good reason. Does she deserve to be treated that way? No. Does she have to put up with that type of behavior? No. Does she love her children and want them to be in a two parent household? Yes but it is worth it to stay in a relationship with that man at the expense of her dignity? No. If she stays in the relationship under those conditions, one day she may do something that she'll regret.
...like the child on the playground playing with his friends. He's enjoying their time and company and sharing thoughts and dreams when a bully appears. Now, the boy has the option of simply closing the gate to the playground and keeping the bully out or, running away from the bully and thus his friends by fleeing the play area. He decides the latter and tucks tail between his legs and runs off while his friends remain and simply close the gate, deciding to continue enjoying each other's company and companionship rather than let the ignorant spoil it for them.
If a child were on a playground and a bully appeared and the child closes the gate the bully can either open the gate or wait until the child leaves the playground. Either way, the child will still have to deal with the bully. Closing the gate is a short term solution.
Say that you're at an outdoor concert and you are at a great spot to see the performer(s) and then shortly there after an obnoxious, loud, rude and very foul smelling person stands right next to you. You'll be annoyed because that person is now making the concert unenjoyable for you. At that point you have 3 options (as I see it): not say anything and have your eyebrows and nose hairs synged off from the funk while the stink burrows into your clothes like you've been skunk sprayed, you can confront the person and tell them to be quiet because (s)he's ruining the concert for you or you can move to another place at the concert.
I don't want you to gooo
Interbutts, as much as we like to delude ourselves into believing it's not, is actually just like real life. You're going to meet assholes. Everyday. And everyday someone is going to slight you. Might have a couple good days in a row, but the truth of it is, it's something you really can't control.
What you CAN control is how you react to it. I just want you to think on this: Does it really matter? Does what these people say, these people you don't truly know and honestly may never meet, is what they really that horrid that you'd turn away from all that bad, and all the good as well?
I see people come and go all the time. Be it art, not agreeing with the rules, not liking the mods, not liking all the outrageous fetishes... but I always wonder... why does it matter? Why is it such a buzzkill, these people? And am I -really- going to let the mindless comment of another ruin my day and good times?
No. I'm not. And I'm not about to care what they think of me either. It's too much stress and worry over something that really isn't influencing my life.
Just sayin.
You're absolutely right. You can't control how people art but you don't have to tolerate disrespect. I want to be able to enjoy myself while I'm on this site and I can't do that when I'm angry. If this were an issue of a bully in school, it would be different but this is more an issue of inconvenience and I don't like be inconvenienced if I don't have to be inconvenienced online.