I screwed up.

There goes my chance of ever getting the first place in a competition. I am disappointed, very disappointed, which might be strange. I am usually quite satisfied with the second place, or even another place in the top-rankings, but not this time. Not when I worked hard for two years to get this appreciation.

But as always of course, mourning is in vain. In the end it is not determination that earns the right of the summit, it is arrogance and disrespect.

...how sick I am of this shit.