Or Gracie

...our dog. She was more my parents' dog than mine, and to tell you the truth I didn't like her a lot. She pooped and peed where she shouldn't have, which made late night excursions in your socks hazardous. She was fat because...well, she lived like my parents and they gave her everything she wanted. But she wasn't by any means a bad dog.

There, Universe, the third death in my family this year...YOU CAN STOP NOW.