ugh what is life comeing to! i have no idea what to feel anymore=[ should i be happy? or sad? my ex is still inlove with me and will do what ever it takes to get me back, but my friend really likes him and he douts his feeling for her. i keep trying to get over him but every time i think i do it ends up being self denial.. when i first found out my friend like him i tryed to sorta push them together. i helped her get a myspace so she could im him, i tryed giving her sugestions like stop rping and just talk to him but she didnt listen, i tryed avoiding him, not touching him so that she had a chance to get closer to him.. but then i realized that it hurt to see them together... the pain was very hard on me i almost became a loner again, would have worked to if i didnt care about my friends the way i do.. today my friend wasnt at school so i tryed to be happy use self denial to tell myself i didnt love him and that he was better off with her.. but then we hung out during lunch and it was weird i felt like him and another friend of mine were fighting over me.. then after school he didnt have anyone to hang out with so i decided to bring him with me an louie to get a blue hilighter for my math project, we went to the womans/ little girls clothing department and told him that he would look cute in little girls cloths.. it was fun and i was happy to be with them... we headed to the axiom next and louie went off to draw and he looked really down, it hurt to see him that way.. i found him in a dark corner and i ased him y he was there, but he wouldnt tell me the truth and it hurt because before him an her started to get closer he would tell me things and i would tell him things nobody knew.. just before i left i got the truth from him and i wasnt shure how i felt about it.. he walked me to my jeep and he looked like he wanted to kiss me but he looked so sad too.. we huged and then i left......

i am moving away in 3 months and i just dont kno what to do anymore....