This is somthing me and  Wolf-Light did while EMENSLY bored one day
Please enjoy our randomness

100 tips for Villians to make Boyfriend out of their Arch Enemies

1. Disguise your lust and infatuation by sarcastic and petty remarks at their sexiness

2. Always keep the manacles well oiled. You don't want theme actually Injured, do
you?

3. When plotting evil plan, always make sure there’s a subtitle exit plan for you nemesis

4. When ordering your minions to capture your nemesis, always send the dumbest ones you have

5. Make sure to always have some rope around. You never know when you're going to have enough courage to pop the question

6. Beneath all those fancy robes, make sure to have pockets for all you’re... Tools.

7. If your nemesis is showing signs, put more slips in planning to allow for more banter. Conversation is always good

8. If you suspect your Nemesis is faltering in their current mission, initiate the self-destruct. They're guaranteed to escape unscathed.

9. Always put a self destruct button. Easies excuse escaping from when you know your lust is starting to get ht best of you

10. Whenever unveiling a new weapon, place as many innuendos as possible into the description. For examples, please refer to Dr. Evil

11. Make sure you hire goons that aren't interested in the sex of your nemesis. You wouldn't want any violation that isn't your doing

12. If the above does take place, quickly make large, painful and PUBLIC examples. You don't want your nemesis to think you're evil, do you?

13. Take heart control lessons and make sure to brush up on lying. You'll be doing it a lot when you’re telling him you 'hate' him

14. Keep a personal diary, or journal. Keep it in a secret place from your minions, but not so secret your nemesis can't find it.

15. If a sexual approach seems to be failing, quickly take out a syringe and inject a harmless substance in, claiming insanity

16. If, at any time you suspect a female companion is obstructing your path, hire a new, handsome, less than evil assistant.
It never fails

17. Find out as much out about your hero as possible. Whether they want to admit it or not, they feel proud that you took the time of day to analyze them

18. place a small bug on any and all computers, scanning devices, etc they own. If they ever take a more than professional interest, you'll know instantly.

19.If possible, plan a plot that forces you and your hero to work together to survive. A little exposure on your past along the way helps to soften them up

20. If possible, become trapped by your own creation at least once, forcing your good nemesis to save you. The more contact, the better.

21. When 'testing the waters' never touch them more than you should. If they show complete disgust, pushing it lowers your chances. It's better to let it mull over them and try again later\

22. if they tend to touch more than normal, feign disinterest. Even among heroes, playing hard to get always works.

23. NEVER strip them naked for humiliation unless your 100% positive they're showing interest in you

24. If they ever find themselves IN a position stripped naked, take as many pictures as possible. Explain this to your minions as "knowing the enemy"

25. IF at any time YOU are the capture one and THEY decide to strip you, warning bells should be going off

26. At points like this, you should attempt to make as many comments about their sexuality as possible. Take note of the number of complaints. Too few, or too many, and alarm bells should be ringing.

27. during holidays, such as Halloween, leave sweets/candies leading them to their goal. A) it confuses them, and B) it lets them know you care.

28. Make sure your personal bedroom is soundproof. Don't want the minions to get suspicious of the loud moaning if that special hero and you eventually get together

29. never be too afraid to flirt in front of your hero. Pay attention to such signs as flared nostrils, clenched fists and the like. if you happen to spot any of the above, you're in.

30. If at any point, no matter how far or short, they outwardly come out and confess. Make sure you have lie detector equipment installed. If all rings true, don't be afraid to dive straight in

31. Even if lie detectors fail, remember, many heroes have had training to full said detectors. Dive in anyway, just to be safe. At the very least you'll cop a feel.

32. Try to dress well. All villans are known for having some form to style, so try atleast to look handsome and appealing for your hero

33. If at any point your nemesis shows a particular interest towards a particular look, or colour, wear it subtlety at first, and then build up to it.

34. Make your hero laugh. It may be towards you or even taunting sarcasm, but at least he knows you've got a sense of humor to play with

35. If said nemesis appears to NOT have a sense of humour, do try to make topical jokes. many heroes do have a day-to-day life, and sympathetic jokes go a long way. As does subtle mentions that they normally do not apply to you, nor anyone associates with you.

36. Keep a few sex toys hidden around the play. Heros are notorious for secretly enjoying a more kinky side of their sex life

37. And do remember to place cameras around said places. heroes do have to sate their urges quickly in order to maintain their "Pure" appearance.

38. Try and put some backround into your encounters. Try and let you hero know that even though your a villan, your still a person with needs. Perhaps even milk the fact that your just 'misunderstood'

39. If all else fails, create a plausible "He made me do it" alibi. Even if you have to go so far as to create one yourself.

40. Don't be afraid to do a little subtle flirting. Some heroes' pick it up, and if it checks out, it makes getting to where you want to be with them a bit easier

41. At the same time, don't be so preoccupied with sending signals that you don't miss a couple yourself.

42. It wouldn't hurt to take an interest in hobbies of your hero. If you enjoy them, it's something you have in common. It may be hard to bring up, but if all goes well it will make that relationship all that sweeter and more worthwhile

43. While keeping tabs on your Hero, make sure to "remove" any obstacles to his normal, mostly peaceful life. They WILL find out one day, with much confusion on their part.

44. When the charade is over and you've both admitted feelings, keep things honest. All the lying has to stop for him to trust you now

45. And that includes all nightly activities. Most heroes take offence if you continue your plots after you become a couple, with the exception of secrecy's sake*

46. Whenever planning meetings in future to discuss 'what happened last night' or 'what was that suppose to me'. Keep it as private as possible. Again, it would be a good idea not to beat around the bush if he's quizzical about your situation. Avoiding the subjects just aggravates your hero

47. Just as your Hero has his own secret identity, you must create your own. If this means regular bulk buys of make-up or masks, then so be it.

48. Never push the issue. Take your time with the matter, patience goes a long way if each time you see one another, you've won him over just that little bit more

49. If all else fails in the villain front, start meeting him in your "normal" lives. Who knows? He might end up "Curing" you of evil...

50. When doing the above, make sure he doesn't know you’re the villain. It's just easier to sit down and have tea when he doesn't know you’re up to something. This also makes the 'I'm a villain' confession easier, as you can follow this by 'but you've changed me'

51. A helpful tip in the weeks running up to the planned revelation, ramp up your "good" acts. And reduce the time spent in your Villain costume.

52. One of the most important things is admitting you have the interest. Many villains have never admitted their love of their nemesis, such leading to silly mistakes marking their doom. It’s best to face it and realise that it’s alright to be attracted to him

53. If, at any time you feel your Minions are becoming too rough with your "prey" invite your hero to a meal once you have them captured, reminding them that you and those who work for you ARE different.

54. being his secret admire never hurt. You'll certainly feel a bit accomplished when you 'causally' walk past his window and see him smiling at the letter you wrote him

55. The occasional gift works wonders, even if he thinks he's "Obtaining" it from your base. Leaving out new weapons or items he has been known to be interested in will help during the revelation stage.

56. Seriously consider giving up evil. Sure your life wasn't great and you want to rule the world maybe. But afterwards, where's that going to get you if he hates you with ever fibre of his being
57. Also, is ruling the world really for you? Despite the satisfaction, that leaves near 8 billion people to rule over and make sure they get the essential services... Prioritise.

58. When you’re not confronting him, try not to meddle too much in his personal life. It's all good and well to keep tabs on him, but don’t go so far that that even he starts to notice something up

59. That being said, don't forget to make his life difficult at times as well. After all, you never can tell when one hero could become a new Villain...

60. If he wants to be the dominant one, let him. Leave the power struggles for the plots, not for the bedroom...of course, unless he likes a little fight in you

61. If he takes longer than is usually acceptable to escape from a trap or restrains, invest in a small bondage kit...
62. Don't get jealous if he is custom to seducing your guards out of predicaments. He cares nothing for them since he knows they don't have a speck of interest in him

63. That being said... Hire the ugly guards. They’ll feel better for the compliments anyway.

64. Taken real life into account, you may want to frame being a 'victim'. He is the hero after all. It may be dishonest way to get close to him, but ransacked with no place to go is a nice way to innocently get into his home without being suspicious

65. This also gives you plenty of time to scope his interests, his hobbies and see whether or not you truly ARE a compatible couple, without resorting to mind control

66. With that in mind, Mind control should always be a complete and UTTER last resort if you feel so desperate. But this guild strongly suggests against it

67. Hormone control on the other hand, is a great way of telling if you’re intended would actually consider "the other side".

68: if you know there are some things about villain your hero particularly hates, such as mind control or genocide, the most obvious choice would be to avoid plots of this nature. You’re evil, but not heartless

69. And even then, evil can be but a way of attracting your intended hero

70. If your hero enjoys punishment, punish them. Simple. Of course, never too much for them to be seriously injured

71. We in the guild can highly recommend "Denial" as a means of punishment. It turns them to begging wrecks in your paws, while ensuring a powerful reward at he end.

72. With this in mind, don't be afraid to do a little beggin yourself

73. "Accidentally" getting caught in your own traps, while embarrassing at first, may nearly double your chances. Especially those of the naked kind.

74. If your hero bests you, be able to bite down our pride and admit that he's better than you at somthing

75. Of course, don't expect the same treatment. As a "good guy", he's not allowed to admit his respect. If you look closely however, it can be seen in his eyes.

76. With plot design once more, make sure they aren't all death defying impossibilities to escape, but at the same time, not so easy to figure out that he starts to question your 'ability'. You want to impress him after all

77. Although, do make notes of his birthday, special occasions etc that he may need to leave early for. And the occasional present once he "Escapes" doesn't go Amis either!

78. Give him a break once in a while. Chasing after you probably will get tiring, so give him a little vacation off your schedule for a while. Take the time to reflect on what you've scored, and what still needs to be done

79. An anonymous ticket to some holiday locale, such as Hawaii is useful, especially as you, in "normal" clothing, happen to holiday at the same place.

80. Keep your figure. Most Hero's aren't chubby chasers, granted there are a few. But keeping in fit for appeal never hurt

81. Keep the kitchens well stocked though. A hero does have a life outside you and your plots, and times can get tough. Sometimes, the only person a hero can talk to is their villain.

82. There is always the chance your hero will 'break down'. Regarding the above, things can get a bit much. It's important you take full advantage of this opportunity to show him you have a sweet side to you as well. If he starts crying, comfort him. If he pushes you away, as most will, give him time and he'll start talking. This rarely happens, but has a very good result

83. Never underestimate the healing powers of coffee in a relationship, wither its carnal, or between hero and villain.

84. If a relationship forms and your hero wishes to keep it secret, no matter how much you want to jump for joy and run for triumph that you finally got him to the world, respect it. It's in your best interest as well. The evil world won't take kindly to it. After all, that little thrill of a passionate meeting is always good
85. Even the most well kept secrets get out occasionally. Other heroes may not do more than raise voices and make remarks, but be prepared to protect your hero from other villains, who will employ more hurtful methods.

86. Concerning the above, be proud of it. If it gets out, show no fear and your hero will do the same

87. However... fear is not only accepted, but recommended when visiting your hero's parents, or team-mates. Mothers and mother figures especially.

88. If escape from the world is needed, think outside the box. Your hero and villain after all, you can easily device a plan to get away from your current area and move to a more private area to your liking

89. If all else fails... You're a VILLAN! If you can't create a plan to silence everyone, who can?

90. If you’re able to, don't be afraid to be cute. Your hero might find it odd at first, but that may be one of the things that trigger his like for you at some stage

91. Of course, the opposite may also be true. Sometimes, to get your hero's attention, make do without the minions and do the heavy lifting yourself. Wear tight clothing. Even the straightest hero will at least admire you.

92. If he stares at your muscles, you’re in

93. If he stares at your Groin, You’re CERTAINLY in.

94 Needless to say, if he stares at your ass, you might as well just drag him to your bedroom

95. For that purpose, especially if said hero has super strength, or speed, invest in some industrial or porn star lube. You will not regret it.

96. Let him in. Whether in a relationship or not, tell him everything about yourself. Even tell him why you became evil if you have to. He'll respect how much commitment you’re putting in

97. Plan your plots to take the weather into account. No one likes having to go out in the rain and Heroes least of all when they have a doomsday machine to disable. If needs be, sabotage your own work.

98. The first step is always the hardest, but just keep in mind what your working towards, and don't stop until you get there

99. While almost scary at first, be honest with yourself. You have fallen for your hero. Now it is time to see whether it's possible for him to fall for his Villan.

100. Good luck

We honestly dind't think we'd even get to 100, but there it is XD
Laugh at is, please XD