VICTORY!!! -as I was typing the subject line, I totally destroyed this goddamned gnat that's been tormenting me impetuously. I'm gonna steak his head on a toothpick for his kids to see. I'm so fuken lonely - I'm growing more and more twisted by the hour... my mate's been home every 3rd night to sleep here and then get up and go again for a week or so. I don't do well without him - he's my prozak. I can't hardly get to sleep once I'm awake, yet I can't hardly get out of bed once I do... ...and dysfunction comes in the form of food and drink. I tend to go 24 hrs or so without eating...then I over-eat...then I sit and cry...then I get way too fucked up and pass out. I wish I had insurance...or the ability to speak honestly about these things with the people who may actually be able to help me. I feel I have to keep them happy and my sadness/sickness won't do that.